To the guy who emotionally abused me,

You made me feel like nothing I did was good enough.

Now don't get me wrong, I had plenty of exciting times with you that I won't ever forget. Like the time we went to the swimming hole; we both lost our balance and fell in the water, but you made sure that you were the one that hit the rocks first so I wouldn't get hurt. Or when we waited all night to go glow bowling and on the way home you were craving ice cream so we stopped at McDonald's at 2:30 in the morning.

You put me down when I couldn't spend every second of my day with you.

You would disappear on me and I couldn't get a hold of you, leaving me to worry about whether or not you were okay. Sometimes I would stay up at night just waiting to get a goodnight text so I knew it was okay to go to bed. On several occasions you threatened to leave me, saying "I don't know how this is going to work out if we never get to see each other." I had just spent the last three days with you...

You would do everything in your power to make me jealous. That included telling me that you were going jetskiing with a group of girls because you knew there was nothing I could do to go along. One thing that hit me hard was that you went and saw Finding Dory without me even though you knew I wanted to go see that movie with you more than anything. And to make things worse, you went with another girl.

There was someone else.

This is the funny part, she was just your "best friend" even though she had romantic feelings towards you. You would text her more than you would text me. Whenever we were together you would sit there, texting her. She would send you angry texts because she didn't like that you would post pictures with me, so you deleted those pictures... You spent more time with her than you did with me. You would drive her places and go jetskiing with her. When I needed you, you would tell me you were busy helping your best friend. At one point you told me you were spending the night at her house! So, I told you that I was uncomfortable with that happening. You threatened to break up with me if I wouldn't let you do that. Naturally, I became submissive because you had trained me so well. I meekly agreed that it would be okay for you to spend the night with her.

You drove me to the point where I would do anything for your attention.

I would make up stories about fictional guys giving me attention just to make you jealous, to make you feel the way that I felt. But, you never gave me any sort of reaction. I would have depressive episodes, lying in my room for hours crying and feeling like I didn't deserve you, hoping that you would call me or give me your time of day.

You made me stop talking to my friends.

You were jealous of my close friend that is stationed half the world away, but why? This was a person that I went to for advice, but I think you were scared that they would talk me into leaving you. So, every time that I would be seeing you I would have to make sure to delete our conversations and turn off notifications from the app we used to communicate. I was no longer allowed to hang out with my friends from school because it took time away from you, as if you didn't get enough time already.

You told me you were no longer sure about us.

One day, you told me you needed some time to think and be alone. You didn't text me for days, yet you posted pictures on Facebook with your "best friend". I don't think you have any idea how much that hurt me... Just when you sensed that I was moving on, you came back and pulled me back in. But, for some reason you still weren't sure what you wanted. For three weeks I played along and acted like nothing happened. Then, one day I went to a get-together with you to meet more of your family and that's when things changed. One of your relatives mentioned something about me being your "girl-of-the-week". At first I just laughed it off because it was no big deal, right? Wrong.

You then became extremely quiet and could barely even look at me. I remember asking you repeatedly what was wrong and if everything was okay. You just said "yeah" and continued texting your best friend. I ended up leaving early because the silence was unbearable. What had gone wrong?

That night I couldn't sleep and finally at 3 in the morning I knew what I had to do. I gathered up all of my courage and sent you one long, heartfelt message telling you that I couldn't stand not knowing what was going on anymore and I told you that I blamed myself even though I shouldn't have. And that was the end of it, I was free, finally. Or so I thought.

You were still there.

For weeks and months I struggled (and sometimes I still do) with what I had done. What had I done wrong? I should have cleared all of my time for you. I should have texted you back faster. I was so sure that everything that happened was all because of me.

I want to thank you.

Thank you for making me the person I am today. I am now a stronger, happier version of my old self. I know what I deserve. What I deserve is something more than you could ever give me. I will no longer question if I am good enough for anyone because I have learned how great I am. I now know my worth thanks to my time spent with you.