We all know them. They’re the ones who get straight As without even trying, have had a steady boyfriend for over a year, seem like they got their finances under control, are involved in far too many student orgs, and have a number of options for internships lined up ahead of them – and no matter which way they went, they would be just fine and they would be excelling.
Growing up, you would recognize these girls as the super extroverted, popular girls who never seemed to have to worry about anything. They always had the next best phone or iPod, looked even more beautiful when they were crying, and would do cartwheels in gym class because they were bored.
Before moving on, let me clarify; I am not hating on these girls. Not going to lie, growing up I may have been jealous. Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t be like them and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something wrong with me. But as I kept on going, I found I didn’t care to do a lot of the things they did to achieve their style or look.I have my own look, my own interests, and my own skills. They don’t have to be the same as theirs -- and that is 100% okay!
Many of us are starting our third and fourth year, some of us graduating, and it is really hard to not compare yourself to those around you, even if its subconscious. It’s easy to feel intimidated. There are so many people who seem to be way ahead of the game, and here you are still trying to figure out some of the basics. Maybe you’re wondering what happened; where did you fail to recognize a sign and why are you so behind?!! The pressure is on – now is the time to blossom just like the rest of them. But the truth is, you aren’t behind, and you didn’t miss any significant sign, and no, there was never a genie that randomly appeared and decided to grant certain people good fortune.
It is important to remember and recognize that we all have different skills and strengths, as well as weaknesses. We all have different backgrounds, and different stories, and it’s truly a beautiful thing. We are all traveling different paths, and some of them may cross, some of them may not. We will all meet our road bumps, detours, and construction zones. Maybe some of us are in the express lane, and others of us are on the backroads. And no matter what, we will keep on going, and eventually get to our destination, even if we aren’t sure of what that is.
What does this mean? It means you can only be the best you that you can be! Stop comparing yourself to others’ standards. Success is actually a very biased thing. Success is measured according to the collective perspectives of people around you, and your own perspectives, on how well something went. Everyone wants to be successful, but the reality is, you can never be successful if you evaluate success according to someone else’s standards. That simply doesn’t work. You can only measure true growth and success using your own set of standards and goals.
Learn to set your own goals; make them realistic, and attainable. Give yourself a timetable, and measure how close you get. Challenge yourself. Stop challenging other people. Reinvent yourself, from the inside out, not the outside in. When you start loving yourself, you’ll see that everything else will fall away, and getting to the top of your mountain will be that much easier.
So all in all, it’s okay if you could never do a cartwheel. There are so many other things you can do! If there’s something you really want, work on it, with a new, clear, open mind. When you set yourself to it, you can do anything!
