She was once asked a simple question, "What is your deepest fear?" Without hesitation, she responded with one word: "Mediocrity." She did not mean this in a conceited way, but rather, she feared being ordinary, she feared giving a feeling of indifference to those she wanted to be loved by. Most of all, she was scared of being disposable.
She had grown up in a world of feeling the pain of people leaving her. She had never done anything wrong, it was just the way it was in her life. Maybe that is where this fear came from. She now feels the pressure to be perfect. She subconsciously has the irrational notion that if she doesn't do everything perfectly, she will be undesirable. She somehow connects one shortcoming, fault, or mistake to being instantly disposable.
Let's set the record straight on that devastatingly false notion.
Perfection doesn't exist. It doesn't. It's an illusion. Understand that, and stop aspiring for perfection. Instead, embrace your flaws. The person who really loves you will love you for your flaws, weaknesses, and all. Someone who truly cares for you will not leave you over a simple weakness. They won't stop loving you over your quirks. You're allowed to get mad, you're allowed to be upset at times, and you're allowed to feel hurt. It's okay to be human and overreact, be cranky, or moody. We all have our moments. Don't dwell on those times. Be tolerant with yourself and have faith in those who love you and who are meant to be in your life. Don't beat yourself up for being emotional or disrupting your vision of perfection. Your flaws and weaknesses make you who you are. They're humbling. No one expects perfection except yourself. Be easy with yourself. Be confident in your character and the beautiful qualities that make you the lovable person that you are.
You are human. You are allowed to feel. You are allowed to have your moments, and that is okay. It doesn't make you any less lovable. Imperfection isn't unattractive. On the contrary, what is very unappealing is self deprecation. Be proud of the flawed person you are, and rest assured in the fact that you don't have to be the perfect friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, or human being to keep people in your life. The people who are meant to be by your side will be with you through it all, and will love you unconditionally because those petty moments waver. They are fleeting, they pass you by daily. Your character leaves a permanent impression. Be a good person. Love hard, care deeply, and be humble. Don't belittle yourself or beat yourself up for being human. Give yourself a break, and let go of the burden you carry when you put the unreasonable pressure on yourself to live up to this image of perfection you've conjured in your head. The only person who expects that of you is yourself. Love yourself wholeheartedly, and others will follow.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
