This message might sound strange coming from a girl who’s in a happy relationship, but that fact makes the message even more powerful. I am in a relationship and even I think that boys are not necessary to a girl’s happiness. And I can also speak from experience that relationships are not a walk in the park.

I used to be the girl that was envious of my best friend because she seemed to always have a guy who liked her. And they weren’t the creepy guys that leave notes on top of your car (yes, that actually did happen to me in high school). The really cute guys liked her. The ones that I could never see myself with because I was lanky and a bit odd. She was odd too, but she knew how to talk to them. I was helpless.

She always woke up to a morning text from her boyfriend. They got ice cream together and went to the movies together. She always seemed to have butterflies in her stomach. She started her day excited to receive compliments and flowers and a feeling of security.

I wish I could go back and shake myself.

I wish I could tell young little Abbey that relationships in middle school and most of high school are nothing but cringe.

They’re one of the most awkward things on the face of the planet and you do not need that in your life.

Friends are so much more fun at that age. You will not remember the good morning texts you got from that cute guy in the grade above you. Once you reach college, he’ll probably already have two kids and a habit of smoking cigarettes, trust me.

In my junior year of high school, I was extremely lucky to find the person I’m still with now. I don’t even think lucky is the right word. It was a miracle.

Most people don’t find partners like him until they’re out of college.

But I can tell you right now that even though he is a wonderful part of my life, I’m not half a person without him.

In college, I feel like it’s even easier to fall into the trap of feeling like you need a boyfriend.

You feel like he’d always support you, he’d be your shoulder to cry on, he’d make your life easier.

First of all, any sort of romantic relationship automatically makes your life exponentially more difficult.

For most people, college is the time to discover who you are.

Find your interests.

I can admit that it’s a bit harder to find yourself when you are worried about someone else.

If I wasn’t in a relationship, I’d probably honestly have a room that’s a lot cleaner.

My point in all this is that you absolutely do not need another person to complete you.

You are whole as you are.

At this age, most people don’t even know their “soulmate” yet and there’s no use in hunting for him or moping around until he comes.

The person who is going to make your life extremely hard, but extremely fun and full of butterflies is not going to come if he’s all you’re thinking about. Putting your energy into bettering yourself and discovering yourself is a lot more worthwhile and fulfilling than striving to find a man. One of the truest cliches I’ve ever heard is that "Good things come to those who wait."

But while you wait, don’t worry about it.

You probably have that image of your perfect life in your head. Your perfect house, perfect dogs, perfect job, perfect kids, perfect husband.

But right now is what matters. You won’t be able to reach those goals unless you focus on yourself now.

The man who will love you past the end of time is somewhere. He’s just not ready for all your amazingness yet.

He's still a boy.

Give him some time to become the man he’s going to be while you become a queen.