To The Girl Who Feels Inadequate

To The Girl Who Feels Inadequate

"Comparison is the thief of joy." – Theodore Roosevelt

Seeing as you clicked on this article, I'm assuming you may be feeling in some way or another like you aren't enough. Insecurity and struggle with self-worth are something that affect us all. To all of you who may feel like you just don't add up, I'm here to tell you that you aren't alone. I'm also here to tell you that it's not true.

The best way to destroy all the good life has for you is through comparison. In a society like this one that's entirely focused on social media and online appearance, it's hard not to wish for "more" or "better." It's hard not to look at a gorgeous girl on Instagram and then instantly feel disappointed at your own reflection. My dear, you were not meant to live her life. You were meant to live yours.

Psalm 139:14 "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

Fearfully and wonderfully made! God looked down at this Earth and decided it just was not complete without you in it. You are made in His image. You are here to tell your own story and to radiate your own beauty. It's hard not to compare when you feel like you aren't as smart, or as pretty, or as wealthy, or as (insert anything here) as someone else, but the thing is you were not meant to be. You were meant to be you; you are a masterpiece all your own.

1 Corinthians 11:1 "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ."

The only One we should compare ourselves to is the One who had a hand in making us. Instead of worrying about how you can add up to the airbrushed perfection we see in the magazines, worry about how you can live up to His image. Be kind. Be loving. Be generous. Be faithful. Be unlike this world. Do your best and be your best, because you are enough. A life that seems perfect never is because no one's life is perfect.

Social media is a place to put all the best times of your life, the best pictures and the best accomplishments, but we ALL fall down. We all fail tests, we all break out and gain some weight here and there, we all compare and none of us are gracious and loving one hundred percent of the time. It's okay, because we are all doing the best we can. The most beautiful person in the world and the smartest person in the world and even the kindest person in the world can still learn something from you. Why? Because you were fearfully and wonderfully made, and no other person in the world brings to this Earth what you can. No one has your story, your heart, or your mind.

With all this being said, the next time you find yourself dealing with the devil of comparison, stop and read these verses. Look at yourself in the mirror, and choose to see all of the beauty that you are; beauty that radiates from the inside out, and beauty that will only ever be yours. You are enough; you are enough and then some. Wake up every day knowing that no one else, past or present, could ever replace you or your unique purpose.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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How Incorporating Organization In My Daily Routine Single-Handedly Changed My Life

And how it can structure yours.


It would be a complete fabrication of the truth if I pretended that my life in any way has been picture perfect. Things are messy, life is messy, and my life becomes an endless cycle of self provoked destruction.

I've had short bursts of motivation as a last expedient to seize control of the downward spiral I have endured. But mostly they have diminished along with any motivation I have left.

None of these short term solutions have yet to salvage my mental, physical, and academic state. SO, as an attempt to overhaul my life, I decided the best way to strive for control, is to organize every aspect of my life.

Yes, this could become unhealthy if I used this tactic as a way to tear myself down or over analyze my accomplishments, or lack thereof. But I try to view my life as something I have a say in while considering that not everything will be perfect or completely satisfy my goals for myself.

To successfully enact this measure, I try to never go into a day unaware of what I must accomplish, what tasks/work I have to attend to, and stocked with a full calendar and set of alarms that prevent me from missing deadlines. Although mildly time-consuming to detail my life in advance, it is greatly beneficially outweighed through the amount of time this tactic saves me.

Recently, I have noticed how much happier I have been, and feel as if my life is back on track and it's future in my hands. This has allowed me to work an upwards of 50 something hours a week, see and manage friends, read and keep up with hobbies, as well as give me peace of mind and time to relax with loved ones.

I am grateful for the role that organization has played in my life and suggest that everyone incorporate some type of underlying structure in their lives, to realize that anything is achievable with proper organizational preparation.

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