When I think about TV shows that capture the reality of adult life and its complications, the definitive best falls on FX's You're the Worst. The quirky Dramedy follows the complicated lives of Jimmy and Gretchen, a couple in their early thirties, attempting to navigate the perilous world of dating along with their respective best friends, Edgar and Lindsey. While the premise sounds similar to shows like Girls or Sex and the City, where You're the Worst deviates is in its exploration of the constructs of romantic companionship, life expectations, and there effect on individuals.

Commitment Over Marriage

From the very first episode, the show takes a critical stance on the subject of marriage through the depiction of the various relationships of the show. Our main characters Gretchen and Jimmy meet following some less than appropriate behavior at a wedding and proceed down the path of commitment following a hook up. They meet each other's best friends, swap keys to each other's places, decide to become monogamous, and even move in together following a fire in Gretchen's apartment as well as other hilarious escapades.

Despite the reluctance at first and some unusual shenanigans involving competing to see who can hook up with the most exes, the main characters follow a path to commitment that is based on mutual trust and respect, that while chaotic and unusual is what works for them.

Compare their relationship to one of the two main marriages in the show, Lindsey and Paul. Lindsey, a ditzy housewife, is disillusioned with her marriage to the lovable but boring Paul, and continually belittles him and cheats on him over the course of the series in an attempt to excite her life. The couple splits at the end of season one after Paul admits to emotionally cheating on Lindsey with a more compatible partner, but then proceeds to cheat on his new partner with Lindsey. The couple reunites at the end of Season 2 after Lindsey announces that she is pregnant (more on this later), and the couple remains together in Season 3 as an open couple, despite Paul's reluctance.

The other failing marriage involves Becca, Jimmy's ex-girlfriend and Vernon, a loudmouthed frat boy turned Doctor. Following Jimmy and Gretchen hooking up at their wedding, the couple seems to take a downhill turn almost immediately. They attend couples counseling, attempting to cut out people in their lives, and try to cheat on each other, but with no success and Vernon being financially dominated and essentially bankrupting him and Becca. Despite the clear incompatibility, the couple still puts up the facade of a successful marriage to the people in their lives, despite the constant lack of success for the sake of status and an arriving child.

These two pairings model the unsatisfying forms of marriage that the average failing American family falls into. There is either the drastic attempt to change someone, such as Paul and Lindsey, or the couples seem to making it work, but instead choose to sacrifice their happiness for the sake of appearance like Becca and Vernon.

The show makes the argument that marriage is not the key to a successful relationship, but commitment to it on both parts for the right reason. Despite their faults and mistakes, Jimmy and Gretchen continue to work on their relationship despite the fear of commitment and out of care for each other. Their is no attempt to drastically change the dynamic of the relationship or put up false fronts, they are is simply as they are.

Family and Expectations are overrated.

Much like the position on marriage, the show has no qualms about mocking the institution of family or expectation. A constant running joke in the show is Jimmy's strained relationship with his English family, particularly his father. Throughout the first season we see glimpse of the disconnection, largely because the artistically inclined Jimmy clashed with his mining town father. This would all come to a head in Season 2, when his family comes to visit, where he is verbally abused and embarrassed by his sisters and father before forcing them out after a failed moment of connection with his father.

Pulling into this current season, Jimmy's relationship with his father is brought to the fore front when his father passes away. Over the course of several episodes, Jimmy attempts to have genuine reaction to his father's passing but doesn't until he reads his father's eulogy, which was filled with lies, and informs his son he had been sick for a year, thus allowing Jimmy a moment of catharsis, even if it came from a place of resentment. Jimmy is able to let go of the anguish towards his father and channel back into the work his family also disapproved of.

This continued distance from family is seen in other characters in the series. In the episode "Finish Your Milk", we are introduced to Gretchen's parents, a pair of demanding socialites who under the impression that Gretchen is still their little girl, up until Jimmy exposes the lies. Lindsey and Becca constantly use their marriage and pregnancies to escalate the sisterly feud, with it even suggesting that Lindsey simply married Paul because she wanted to beat her sister down the aisle. Even Killian, the neighbor boy next door, deadpans about how messed up his family is, only to fall on deaf ears as Jimmy asks him to right.

The only character that seems to have a good relationship with the family is Edgar, who mostly mentions his family in passing, with no real expectations placed on him from there. It's in this lack of expectations that Jimmy and Edgar are able to lead more fulfilling lives. They establish their own goals free that satisfy their ambitions without others interfere and in lay the key to a more fulfilling life.

If someone wishes to seek a better life, the show argues that you should make your own goals and forget others expectations of you, otherwise you will end up impregnating yourself with a Turkey baster (more on that in the next section).

Mental Health

In a show that has drug use, infidelity, and possible alcohol abuse seriously, subject held sacred is the importance of mental health. While a number of the characters have been diagnosed in episodes, the show focuses more on how to properly cope with these afflictions and their effects if not dealt with.

The second season's story arc largely deals with Gretchen's case of clinical depression resurfacing for the first time in years. She proceeds to sneak out in the middle of the night to cry in her car, swift mood swings, and generally losing emotion in all sense. For Jimmy, this becomes a test of him commitment to Gretchen as he tries and fails to snap her out of her state. Towards the end of the season he understands his role as being emotional support to his girlfriend in the coping process, up until he finds out she doesn't take any medication. However, this is quickly resolved and Jimmy continues being the emotional support while Gretchen begins attending therapy and starts taking medication in season 3.

The importance of treatment is emphasized also through the character of Edgar and his battle with PTSD as an Iraq War Veteran. As seen in a flashback, Edgar was living on the streets and dealing with things on his own until he ran into Jimmy. As the series progresses, the characters make jokes about Edgar's PTSD as he is still dealing with the symptoms despite being on Medication, which comes to a head in season 3.

After quitting his medication do to some complications, he begins to experience the full assault of the stress disorder and the audience gets a clear look into the harsh world of PTSD victim. However, the episode is made light through some conversation with a former soldier who states "You have to find your way of dealing with it", leading Edgar to enjoy the world of alternative medicine to help him out.

The show adopts a libertarian approach to dealing with mental health, stating that there one must find their way to cope with what allies them. Unfortunately, the negative side of this argument is seen in Lindsey.

In the span of three seasons, Lindsey cheats on her husband repeatedly, begins using cocaine, emotionally manipulates Edgar, gets Paul to sleep with her again despite being with a new woman, steals his sperm so she can impregnate herself with his child, stabs Paul, and coherences him into making their marriage an open relationship.

Unlike her friends, Lindsey refuses to take responsibility for her placement in life; she continually makes selfish, impulsive decisions so that she can maintain the spontaneity of her former life while still keeping the comfort of her rich, domestic.

However despite a significant outlier, the philosophy of libertarianism still stands, one must be willing to find their own way in order to deal with their way in the world. We can choose to commit and change like Gretchen and Edgar, or fall victim to or issues like Lindsey.

Conclusion

You're the Worst seeks to challenge us to reconsider the institutions that supposedly add meaning to our lives, and establish our own sense of purpose. As unlikeable and despicable as the characters can be at times, there is a genuine desire to make the most of their lives and establish their goals, which is what we should seek to accomplish every day of our lives. So the next time your family asks you about your terrible day or when you will be married, remember the words of the enigmatic character Sam, "and be the CEO of your own life", and just go with it.