The Game of "Hot Blame"
Relationships

The Game of "Hot Blame"

The never ending battle to pass the blame on to someone else...

23
The Game of "Hot Blame"

"This new generation is made up of a bunch of lazy brats."

If you as a teen or adult haven't heard a comment similar to this during you interactions with people...consider yourself lucky. The world is alive with hatred toward the newest wave of young adults that is flooding our society. With roughly 80 million teens in the world today, we make up a fairly substantial minority group, and as such, have drawn worldwide attention to our personality and behavioral traits.

So what's the problem? What has caused the last generation to denounce the next as a curse? There are as I see it, two problems of increased relevance in this topic. The first of these lies with the adults of today's society while the second lies solely with the teens.

1.Adults Consider Teens to Be a Problem of Their Own Creation

Have you ever played a game of "Hot Potato?" In this game, players sit in a circle and pass a potato (or another similar object) from one person to the next as fast as possible while music plays in the background. The goal of the game is to not get stuck with the potato in your hands when the music stops. The result is some tense nerves, punctuated by moments of sheer terror as you realize the player across the room just threw the potato at your face, and it's moments from hitting you...So what does all this have to do with the relationship between adults and teens? Well if you think about it, adults and teens have become entangled in an endless game of "Hot Potato," or more simply put, "Hot Blame." In this game, players from the adult and teen teams battle against each other to make sure that the blame falls on the other generation. You're likely to hear adults complain about teens (generally their own) a lot! But how many times do you hear them say, "Wow I wish I had been a better parent and made my kids do their chores instead of playing video games. No wonder they turned out to be couch potatoes." Instead, you are far more apt to hear a story about how they "never learn" or how "no matter how hard I try," putting the blame directly on the teen without taking any accountability for their own shortcomings. This move is one step in the cycle of the endless "Hot Blame" game. This direct attack on the teen's current state sets the stage beautifully for the counter-attack from the teen, which brings me to my next point.

2.Teens are Far Too Quick To Prove The Adults Right

I would point out that no matter which stage of the "Hot Blame" game cycle comes first, the outcome is always the same. Directly following an accusation from an adult, a teen's first move is to blow up. The reactions generally include complete, belligerent silence, or statements about how "you adults just don't care about us" or "I just gave up trying to please you since you're always mad about everything I do" which attempts to place the blame back on the adults. In the process, the teen proves everything the adult has said to be true, making the teen's situation even worse, and setting the stage for the "complaining adult" stage of this cycle. It's just like when I used to argue with my mom. She would tell me "you argue with everything I say," and I would fall into my own trap and prove her point quite well as I confidently replied, "No I don't!" As long as we as teens are too hot-headed to keep our mouths shut in the face of accusations (true or false), we will never beat the cycle. We need to learn to wait and listen to what is being said, honestly consider if the statements are at all true, and wait to respond until some other time when the situation is no longer volatile.

The key to overcoming the situation is to learn to value yourself as an individual. Embrace being a teen, realize that while you have limitations, those limitations do not define you. Be confident (NOT COCKY) in who you are, and stop trying to argue your way out of being a teen. If we as teens can start taking responsibility for our failures, we can show adults that we want a to find a cure to the problem. Everyone needs to realize that the other party is not the enemy! We all want the same thing: A solution.

If you know me personally you will hear me stress this over and over again: "Life is about relationships." One of the things that I have seen as a result of playing the "Hot Blame" game, is the loss of trust that occurs between teen and adult when accusations are made. We spend so much time fighting, that we don't take the time to make a relationship with the other person(s), resulting in critical misunderstandings between us. When you get to the point in a relationship where you can no longer listen to the other person's heart, rants, or fears without constantly having to disagree, then it's time for you to start from scratch on that relationship. I have seen this fallout occur between adults and teens so many times, but instead of trying to start over and build the relationship back up again, they settle for less and give up on the relationship altogether.

If we can put down our guards for 5 minutes and realize that we can help each other change the world, there is no telling what we can accomplish! It's time for teens and adults to be a team once again!


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Being a pharmacy technician never held as many risks as it does now. Exposure too hazardous conditions were little to none, and garbing up was only conducted in IV compounding. But, now, in order to give nurses the medications they need to help their patients, they need us, pharmacy technicians.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Epic Activewear Deals Every Leggings-Lover Needs To Know About From Nordstrom's Biggest Sale

Wearing my pleather Alo leggings till someone physically removes them from my body.

I'll be the first to admit I'm not an athletic person, at all. Since junior high school, I've been happily cheering my friends on at their football games and soccer matches from the sidelines as long as I could go home to my yoga mat and spend Sunday mornings at Pilates with my mom's friends.

Weekends are often spent in my casual wear, from the second I throw them on for morning meditation through running errands and evening walks. No, I won't be running a marathon or joining my friend's volleyball league anytime soon.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

TikTok was banned by the president, but Instagram is here with its newest feature called Reel. Many of us are still wondering why TikTok was being banned in the first place. Was it all the dangerous TikTok trends? It was because of a security concern, but not in the way you might think.

TikTok is owned by Dancebyte, which is a China-owned company. Basically, just like any other app, TikTok collects the user's data. The main question to ask yourself when investing in any app or marketing tools who will be owning my data? So yes, China currently owns all the TikTok user's data worldwide.

Keep Reading... Show less
Disney

I've always been a huge Disney villain fan — whether it was for their cryptic one-liners, enviable outfits, or sidekick banter. Some of the most iconic lines from cinematic history have been said by the characters we love to hate and occasionally dress up as once a year.

The fear-mongering Gaston I now find hilariously cringe-worthy is now charming and oftentimes considered by fans as rightfully justified in his actions. Die-hard fans of the Disney villain fan club claim alternate egos in their favorite evil characters, adopting their hilarious witticisms into everyday life.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Reasons To Put The Damn Mask On, And Stop Fussing With It

COVID-19 is real people, do your part to protect yourself and others.

Ilana Stein

With the ever-changing reality of our world due to COVID-19, there has been one constant throughout these past unforeseen months, masks. Ever since coronavirus hit the ground running in the US, the CDC has been recommending social distancing and mask-wearing to stop the rapid spread.

Many people have been great about adhering to these policies, mandates, and suggested uses, but others, not so much.

Keep Reading... Show less

Anyone who goes to Panera Bread will tell you that their mac and cheese is to die for. If you're a huge fan of their mac and cheese, you won't believe the new recipe they're coming out with!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been an athlete my entire life. I love movement and I've been jumping, kicking, swimming, dancing, throwing, you name it since I was in diapers. I'm also pretty competitive and probably went through a few sore loser phases. What can I say? I like to win, and losing can sometimes feel like I've failed. Especially, when your competitor is your best friend or someone that you worked all year long to defeat.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

I Asked My Boyfriend His Opinion On Liking Other Girls’ Pictures, And, Spoiler Alert, It's Cheating

"When you get into a relationship and you're in love, you have to realize that liking photos is for the single lifestyle."

Ladies, listen up. If you are in a relationship with a guy and he is liking other girls' pictures on social media, then it's a red flag. A man who can look at someone else and show interest by liking it means he doesn't care about your feelings AT ALL.

Keep Reading... Show less

Picture this, we're settling into our date, the conversation is flowing, we're ordering drinks, laughing, and then it happens... the job convo.

Him: "So what do you do?"
Me: "I'm a dating and relationships editor."

Keep Reading... Show less

- I have extremely sensitive skin, which is why I have always resorted to a plant-based organic beauty line such as Radha Beauty.

- Radha Beauty won me over years ago when I was looking for organic skincare brands.

- I was so excited to see they launched a new line incorporating USDA organic rosehip oil, so when their PR team sent me some, I could not have been more thrilled.

- After a week of using the products, my face felt as smooth as a baby's, looked more glowy than ever, and even cured some of my summer sunburn.

Radha Beauty isn't just a best-selling beauty brand on Amazon — it's a USDA-certified organic beauty brand I live by, and anyone who knows me knows I am all about holistic wellness.

Typically, it only takes three days for me to tell if a skin product is working or not because I have extremely sensitive skin. It's also why I have always stuck by plant-based organic beauty lines such as Radha Beauty.

Keep Reading... Show less

I have definitely had my fair share of breakups. I broke up with my high school sweetheart my second semester of college (he was cheating on me), I had a breakup with another guy I thought I was going to marry, and others in between. Regardless of whether you're the one doing the dumping or being dumped, breakups can HURT.

Keep Reading... Show less

Social media is something many of us have been addicted to (whether we want to believe it or not) since the moment we got it. I remember getting Facebook at 10. Instantly I was hooked. I loved being able to share my life with people, a little too much in my opinion, and I loved being able to see how/what other people were doing all the time.

Keep Reading... Show less

I am not in any way any sort of medical expert. These are just some tricks that work for me and have worked for others who also suffer from anxiety. These may not work for everyone, but I do hope these help some people in their fight against anxiety.

Keep Reading... Show less

-Having struggled with acne prone skin for years, I was cautious to try a new serum on top of the other products I've come to trust.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments