Whether it is about my future job, future home, future husband, future family, or just my future in general, there is always something future-based on my mind and I seem to never truly be present in the present moment.
There are a lot of aspects of the future that I am worried, nervous, and/or scared about. For example, my biggest career dream is to move to California and film/produce movies in LA. My fear would be, would I even survive there? The culture and community are different, the people are different, and the overall environment is different than from what I am used to.
Can I even make it that far, or even that big? Would I even be able to afford living in California when I'm older? As a soft person who isn't as aggressive as I should be, I am also scared that I would break to the point that I'd leave California. But that's just the reality of the real world. Regardless, wherever I end up living and working, it makes me nervous.
I still have yet to meet my future husband, but I am more worried about the timing of when I will meet him. In the plan I have for my life, I definitely would want to be married before I hit 30 years old. Time is ticking, and I just don't know when he and I will meet.
Yes, 21 is considered a young age to date, but it is still prevalent. It is just difficult when I see my friends in happy relationships and hear them talk about it. It just worries me since I've never really had a guy pursue me that I just don't know when my future husband is coming my way.
Something I always tell myself when I worry about the future is, "I only have these next 24 hours to focus on. Everything else will happen and be taken care of when it is supposed to."
I also always remind myself that "God will provide."
For my future home, wherever that will be, God will send the right people in my life to support me, make me feel loved and feel like I belong, and ultimately He has my back. For my future husband, God will bring the two of us together when the time is right and it won't happen too soon nor too late. I say that I am ready to date now, but maybe God doesn't think so, and He is still working on me and my heart as well as my future husband's heart. Regardless, I've been praying for my future husband and it's almost as if I am already in love with him, even though I haven't met him yet.
Slowly but surely, God is preparing me for my future; He is working in my life. I may not know what will happen in my future, but I am super excited. God is always working in mysterious and crazy ways. He always comes through with His providence and His graces. He wants us to run into His arms if we ever feel afraid, worried, or nervous about anything. I do not know what the future holds, but I know Who holds my future.
