Don't apologize for just wanting to be friends
Dating

Stop Apologizing Because You Just Want To Be Friends— The Friend Zone Doesn't Exist

Being a friend is wishing the best for someone, even if that isn't you.

528
Stop Apologizing Because You Just Want To Be Friends— The Friend Zone Doesn't Exist
https://pixabay.com/en/girl-woman-guy-man-people-couple-2616818/

This is an issue I have recently become very passionate about, so welcome to my TED Talk. Recently my dear friend Azalee Aprile showed me the light. She was noticing a pattern in my life, of me apologizing for not wanting to be with someone, and wanting to be friends and nothing more.

The idea of the "friend-zone" has been around for a long time, it has been crushing people left and right.

It is usually depicted in the classic romantic comedy. The man pines after the girl, he's the nice guy, the best friend; in the meantime, she galavants off with the "wrong guy". The friend then eventually gets her to realize that he's the one for her, and happily ever after. Or he never gets the girl, and is "friend-zoned", how awful.

No.

I have now noticed that myself and my some of my girlfriends over the past years have felt sorry when we've not wanted to be romantically involved with someone. The guy runs and says he got "friend-zoned", and the girl is then made to feel bad.

The friend zone doesn't exist, its called being a friend, or not being in my life.

If you care about this person enough to want to be romantically involved, then you would want what is best for them, even if that isn't you. You would want to be their friend and be apart of their life, not take off right after she says no. A friend -- someone who is there for you in all sorts of life predicaments. A friend -- should want this person to be happy, even if that means watching them fall in love with someone else. If that's what this person who you got "friend-zoned" by wants, then you should support them, no problem. Be the friend through and through, and look out for them.

I admit I've fallen victim to this as well, I have gone on "pity dates" cause I felt bad, and I'm sure I've been taken on "pity dates". Really, who is this helping? There are no winners in that, and someone ends up getting hurt.

From experience, it makes everyone feel uncomfortable and you feel taken advantage of. Sadly it makes you think that the whole time the friendship was a lie, that it was never genuine because they had other intentions since the beginning. I came to realize I didn't owe them anything because they were the "nice friend" who was miraculously there whenever my boyfriend let me down. Coincidence? No. Cringe? Yes.

This goes for everyone everywhere, to the people who are doing the "friend-zoning", you're helping them. You're not leading them on, you're not giving them false hope, you're telling them how it's gonna be, you're helping them so they can then move on and find who they are supposed to be with.

Now all of this isn't to say that you can't be in a relationship with your best friend, those are the best relationships I've personally had. But if you both aren't on the same page, then stop right there, and also recognize that you deserve better. You deserve someone who will want to be with you, go to the ends of the earth for you, and be your best friend. Win, win, win.

You don't become "friend-zoned", you become a friend.

"Sorry, Not Sorry" - Demi Lovato

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Being a pharmacy technician never held as many risks as it does now. Exposure too hazardous conditions were little to none, and garbing up was only conducted in IV compounding. But, now, in order to give nurses the medications they need to help their patients, they need us, pharmacy technicians.

Keep Reading... Show less

I have definitely had my fair share of breakups. I broke up with my high school sweetheart my second semester of college (he was cheating on me), I had a breakup with another guy I thought I was going to marry, and others in between. Regardless of whether you're the one doing the dumping or being dumped, breakups can HURT.

Keep Reading... Show less

-Having struggled with acne prone skin for years, I was cautious to try a new serum on top of the other products I've come to trust.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Your Social Activism May Actually Benefit From A Cleansing Social Media Detox

In the craziest year of our lives, sometimes there's value in taking a break.

We are living through, unequivocally, one of the most dangerous, unstable, chaotic periods of any of our lives. From COVID-19 to crises of police brutality to the mass exploitation of the poor by mega-corporations, the world outside seems to be looking more dystopic every day. What can be done about it? For many, activism involves heavily posting on social media to keep others aware. However, this comes with a net negative cost — increased levels of anxiety, depression, and hopelessness about the state of the world. Why might this be? After all, in past eras activists have endured comparable and greater levels of abuse and relentless torment from oppressors. Why, now, are people getting so easily burnt out?

Keep Reading... Show less

Reading is a relaxing activity that provides many benefits. Everybody reads books (when they are not watching Netflix, chatting on social media, or making Tik Tok videos) to distract themselves from reality for a while. Many do not realize the positive impact that books have like reducing stress, assisting with sleep, improving cognitively, and strengthening the mind. In honor of National Book Day, there are many great novels that you can read to mark this special holiday. Here are the best ones to check out.

Keep Reading... Show less

Social media is something many of us have been addicted to (whether we want to believe it or not) since the moment we got it. I remember getting Facebook at 10. Instantly I was hooked. I loved being able to share my life with people, a little too much in my opinion, and I loved being able to see how/what other people were doing all the time.

Keep Reading... Show less

I have always felt left out because of how I look and who I am. I have always felt like the elephant in the room, literally. I have always been shamed for my size. For the longest time, I cared so much about what I wear and who I wore certain things in front of. I never wanted to wear shirts that would show a lot of my arm, located above my elbow. I wouldn't wear shorts that didn't go to the tip of my knees, at least. I never wore anything remotely tight, where you could see every curve, roll, or imperfection. I was so insecure about myself, and not many of my friends knew.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

I Asked My Boyfriend His Opinion On Liking Other Girls’ Pictures, And, Spoiler Alert, It's Cheating

"When you get into a relationship and you're in love, you have to realize that liking photos is for the single lifestyle."

Ladies, listen up. If you are in a relationship with a guy and he is liking other girls' pictures on social media, then it's a red flag. A man who can look at someone else and show interest by liking it means he doesn't care about your feelings AT ALL.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

5 Things You Need To Know Before You Watch 'Arrested Development' On Netflix

"Her?" Yes, she's an amazing show! (You'll get this joke after you watch the show).

Netflix

"Arrested Development" is an award-winning sitcom that aired for three seasons on Fox beginning in 2003, and then was picked up by Netflix for a fourth season in 2013, and then again for a final season in 2018.

However, it seems to remain one of the world's most underrated and under-appreciated shows of all time. Although this article alone won't be enough to skyrocket the show to Netflix's top 10, I hope that it will open people's eyes to the value and quality of the show.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Celebrities Stealing Designs From Small Fashion Labels Is NOT A Good Look, And They Need To Pay Up

When larger, more established figures or brands steal from lesser-known independent creators, they are taking opportunities away from these creators while also profiting from someone else's work and claiming it as their own.

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B recently collaborated on their new single "WAP," with the music video also being released on Friday. Both Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B posted photos of themselves on Instagram to celebrate the premiere of "WAP." An independent designer quickly noticed that the rappers' matching tops were copies of a top she had designed last year.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments