It appears as though we are fast approaching that wonderful time of year once again—

Finals.

Finals, to put it bluntly, suck. Finals season inevitably leads to the realization that easily “getting by” for the past 12 or so weeks is about to royally bite you in the ass. While finals will most likely push you to the brink of destruction, there is one resounding positive created as a result: knowing who your friends are. Finals equate to peak levels of procrastination; if the ingenuity used towards such masterclass procrastination was applied to studying itself, 4.0s would be far more common, to say the least.

Friends as a collective whole provide a multitude of different ways to study, socialize, pass the time, reduce stress, and, of course, procrastinate during finals. Thus, I present to you the 9 types of friends you will have during finals.

One: “Mr. Why Study When I can Watch Movies Instead?”

We all have this friend. They are the type of person who inevitably beat you in a class despite their ever-so studious test preparation method of watching movie after movie while you enviously sit in the row behind them desperately trying to cling to any remaining willpower you have left. You love them to death, but sometimes, usually towards the end of finals when everyone is ready to jump off a cliff, you can’t handle to see them happy. You wish their laptop would not turn off; you wish that any movie ever, especially Ms. Congeniality, was burned. Thoroughly.

Two: “The Late-Night Philosopher”

The Late-Night Philosopher is your close friend. They are the ones you have your weekly, deep talks with about any incredibly personal topic you may have to talk about. And guess what? This only increases during finals. The combination of stress and the desire to do anything other than study the same bullshit over and over again, added to the fact that by the time 3 AM rolls around it is just you two in the room leads to a mind-blowing late-night philosophy session. Your darkest fears and brightest hopes will soon be exposed, and, as finals week progresses and the consistent lack of sleep kicks in, you can only expect for your talks to get even deeper until you hit the eventual emotional bedrock.

Three: “Ol’ Faithful”

Old-faithful is the finals GOAT. Ol’ Faithful is the friend that is yelling at you to stay on track, waking you up if you fall asleep, and ultimately acting as your finals’ guardian angel. This friend’s presence will make or break your finals week (and GPA)! Stay close to them—get on their good side. Get them coffee, provide them gum, and offer them the occasional much-needed distraction because they deserve it. Without them, you aren’t going to make it.

Four: “Casual Beers?”

This is the friend that doesn’t seem to realize that finals week generally means studying and stress, not video games and booze. They are going to be the reason your phone is on airplane mode for 10 days straight: another text of “casual beers?” will lead to a complete and utter eruption. They mean no harm, they just want to have to fun with you! And that one night that you do succumb to their constant pestering and have fun and relax leads to a complete revival that allows you to finish the week as strong as possible.

Five: “The Radiating Ball of Stress”

They are going to get a 4.0, it is inevitable. And yet, even though every single other person in your classroom-study-war-room knows that they are inevitably going to receive an A on their transcript. They will consistently remind you that their classes are harder, and that the sheer number of terms to be memorized or the massive quantity of concepts to be understood is so mind-numbingly large that any mere, average student would crumble. But despite this, you need them too. They inspire you—well, they piss you off—to compete with them. You want to beat them. You want that A. As a result, when energy and willpower is low, they are there to reignite your desire to succeed.

Six: “Hey could you help me with--”

This is the friend that you are genuinely concerned for their well-being. They are the ones to take out their earbuds every minute or two to ask for help or to ask another question. You’ve done their homework; many others have also done their homework. You do not have the time or headspace during finals to deal with them and their work. How are you supposed to hold their hand if you can barely deal with yourself? You can’t.

Seven: “The Hype Man”

What is by far the most important finals essential? The Hype Man. This is the friend that keeps spirits high even when energy levels border on dangerously depleted. Your head is on the desk and they are in the front of the study room milly-rocking and doing anything they can to entertain others. While some may say this friend is a distraction, everyone knows deep down that they need this friend. This is the friend that makes finals memorable.

Eight: “The Person You Want To Talk To But Are Terrified Of Distracting”

Yikes. This is your friend, usually close friend, that you desperately want to talk to. Like a puppy staring up at you with a ball in its mouth with eyes that scream “PLAY WITH ME,” you look at them—wanting nothing more in this world than to simply get their scarce attention. You know that they are working their ass off to do well on their finals, and you should respect their good work ethic…but you just scrolled past this hysterical meme that you know they will absolutely love and you have to show them right now!

Nine: “Mom”

Coffee? Snacks? Jacket? Blanket? Water? Pep Talk? Vent-Session? Your Mom hasyour back. This friend has your back and is there for you even though they too are going through the same exact struggle.

Finals suck—but your friends will get you through it. You can do this.