A couple of weeks ago I told you all about the four types of people you need to cut out of your life. Whether for better or for worse, we all need to accept that sometimes we outgrow people and sometimes for us to grow we need to cut out weeds. But today I will go over the four types of people you would need in your life. Unlike the people you absolutely need to be rid of, the people you need can be temporary or long term. It is always up to the individual as to what you think is best for you but never be afraid to make the choice that is best for you.
1. The Parental
You may be wondering: why do I need a parental friend if I already have parental figures? To that I say, these friends are not your parents and so make them a bit easier to manage. The parental friend can be used hand in hand with code names like, “the responsible one”, “mom friend”, or even “the mature one.”
This is the friend who will make sure you are eating enough food, sleeping at a decent hour, be the coach when needed or the confessional when you have nowhere else to turn. The are the perfect blend of all types of friends due to the fact they can shift their need depending on the scenario so they are a strong ally to have.
The cons of this friend is that they tend to get burned out easily or at times can come off as overly parental. You have to be careful to not overload too much, if they are a parent friend to you then that means they are a parent friend to several other people. Not only that, they tend to forget to take care of themselves.
This friend teaches us to multitask, be aware of the people around you and also remind yourself to check in with those around us.
2. The Wild Child
The wild child is the friend of youth. Whether they keep with the same energy of their youth or they had a revitalization, this is the friend that will keep you busy. Social gatherings, food outings, clubbing and dating, this friend keeps up with it all and will try their hardest to keep you on your feet. The wild child will help remind you that life is short and it is okay to live your life on the edge every once and awhile.
The problem with this friend is going to be control. There will be times you will feel like you are too exhausted to even function they will still push you. You will be tempted to forget obligations to relive glory days or if you are going through one of those age crises, you may try to forget that by consuming everything and hiding the problem.
Eventually you will crash as we always do when we do too much and you need to spend time away from the wild child. There will be times when this friend can be a support, knowing the lifestyle she lives isn’t for everyone and how to handle it but be prepared if this is not the case. In any case this type of friend is great in short bursts.
3. The Coach
The coaching friend is your parental friend but more aggressive. Depending on your particular need they can be the workout coach, the lifestyle coach and even an educational coach. The coach can double as a hype friend(similar to the wild child) but they are mainly there to encourage you to be the very best that you can be.
This can go several ways; their encouragement is beneficial and you find yourself changing and growing for the better, you end up stressing yourself so you don’t commit which leads to arguments with the coach friend, or it can end up being toxic.
The toxic coach will believe they are doing everything in your best interest even if it is putting you into harm's way. You may not see it at first because you think they are doing what is best or maybe you deserve it, but eventually it will bite you where it hurts or you are lucky enough to get out before it gets to the point.
Despite the risks, the coaching friend does have its benefits. They see the potential and you and want to see you achieve it. They can be a self-esteem booster, they will support you and often times work with you so you don’t have to go through it alone. As long as you keep an eye out for anything negative, you can go a long way with the coach.
4. The Confessional
This is the first who you are comfortable with in indulging all your secrets.
Maybe they are outside your typical friend circle, maybe they are great with unbiased opinions, or perhaps they simply not close enough to you that they wouldn’t be too attached. Whatever the reason, this person is your rock and confidant when you need to vent about the problems of the world, rant about how Susan told Brock that you said he was cheap. The confessional is your sanctuary when the world is in chaos.
The problem with the confessional is similar to that of the parental friend, they will consume too much. If they are the confessional to you, they may be a confessional to several others so sometimes they carry too much weight.
With this in mind, you have to learn how to handle issues on your own or at the very least not be afraid to speak to others. Don’t hold it all of it in on your own and don’t expect one person to do so for you. Especially if they are not a professional like a therapist.
There are a plethora of different types that work best for each person. There is the artistic friend to help inspire, the romantic friend that will remind you that love can still exist, the tutor can be another variation of the coach but for education, and the list goes on. It’s up to our individual needs what type of friend we want but to make sure to have variety.
It is okay to have a singular friend for a particular thing, but it makes life so much interesting if we all play different roles.
