When you're in school, you always hear that you and your friends are going to drift apart but you think, That couldn't possibly be true--we're so close right now. How will this ever change? These people know everything about you.
You talk about being in each others' weddings and argue over which friend gets to be your future children's Godparent. They are your life and you can't imagine a world without them in it. But then, one day, something changes. Someone gets a boyfriend, a friend makes a comment that rubs you the wrong way, or it could even be that you changed. After that, nothing is the same.
When two or three friends don't talk anymore, it's almost always everyone's fault. One friend pulled back and the other did nothing about it, or you're too stubborn to send that text to the other. What happens a lot of the time is there was no conflict. Instead, you start to drift into your own interests and don't bring that friend along for the ride. The TV show you guys watched together each week ends, and so you stop hanging out as often as before. It's these small moments that don't seem like a big deal at the time, but they end up leading you apart.
I don't hate the "best friends" I don't talk to anymore. I still wish them the best in life. I want to see when they're successful and are happy in their lives. While I may not know all of their secrets anymore, I will never tell the few they shared with me. I have no hard feelings towards them, I want that to be known.
I still care about you. You could come to me in 10 years and tell me about your problems and I'll listen like no time has passed.
I still hold you all close to my heart. We may be different people now but the memories we had will forever be dear to my heart. You holding me after a breakup, us walking to 7/11 to get slurpees at three in the morning, or even just getting our nails done every couple of weeks. You all were there for me at a time when I didn't know how bad I needed you. While you weren't there when my world came crashing down, I don't blame you. I'm a lot to handle and I am nowhere near perfect and I never try to be. I wasn't always the best friend I could be and I'm truly sorry for that.
We all have new friends and are different people but just know that our memories will always make me smile. This isn't a letter trying to get you guys back. I just want to acknowledge that things didn't end well with all of us and I can live with that.
