To the friend that left me with no explanation,

To the friend who openly listened to my mumbles and awkwardly worded feelings when I had a fever. (Even though I never told you I was delusional from a fever.)

To the friend that thinks I'm mad at them, I'm not mad — I promise.

This is for you, and all I could ever reply to your silence is; I'm sorry.

Why I'm sorry? Because for the past couple of weeks, I've been deemed by your silence from the unresponsive texts to sitting up all hours of the night wondering if I said something wrong or took it too far in my words from the last time we spoke. I'm not sure why you chose me out of your friends to block out, but for whatever that reason may be while I go through my weeks pushing through everyday life, I'm truly sorry. I do miss you, hell- I went through two weeks of only having you running through my mind, no matter what I did or said.

Feelings could've been a counter-action in response to why I couldn't get you out of my mind, as some days since then I get glimpses of your face or our conversations- and I miss you a little more after them. But I've also learned a hard lesson, a lesson in which I had to teach myself in order to continue in growing. The lesson of learning how to let go, how to let go of that rope I tightly hang on too-that hope which tears and pulls me away from my focus.

Letting you go, my friend.

I couldn't think of anything more painful but coming face to face with the lesson that comes with growing up, learning how to let go. Letting go of the past, letting go of a loved one that we've lost, letting go of our childhood belongings, even letting go of friends that you were so certain would be in your life forever. As I've gotten older, my weakness comes with having to let go of people who meant the world to me, the ones that now show no interest in keeping me around.

But we all come to the realization that letting go and/or losing friends helps us grow, not only emotionally but mentally. It's a part of growing up, whether we like it or not losing friends or loved ones will happen in our life and it'll feel like the entire world is crashing around us. But, who wouldn't feel that way? Friends are people we've grown that special connection with, people that know us like the back of their hand. Best friends, friends, close friends, or even friends you could literally consider a sibling, or that good ole' phrase: "Sister from another mister"; "Brother from another mother."

I have a few friends who I've had around for years to a couple, who I've clicked with instantly. And we're convinced we are meant to be sisters, or the universe just knew one mother couldn't handle both of our trouble-making asses, so she separated us. But, hey, you both know who you are, at least I sure hope so.

Letting go, other than hearing the words: death, dying, losing, possibly, waiting, etc... more than likely knowing you have to let go of someone — it can be extremely emotional. Losing a friendship with someone you genuinely care for, or just in all reality can hurt as bad as breaking up with somebody you've been in love with for years. People can even argue saying breaking off a friendship can be one of the most painful experiences as breaking off a relationship. But that's a debate for another day.

As for anyone who is currently in the process of trying to let go of that one person, pushing that old friendship to the back burner hoping one day it'll come back, this is for all of you.

I'm right there with you, and I couldn't begin to explain the pain and process it takes to realize the best thing for yourself is to let them go or call it quits from their silence. But all of this will pass in due time, that's the hardest part of it all. Being patient with time, reminding yourself you're better off without them, that there is something good coming from this. All of this can be extremely overwhelming, thinking you don't have anyone after them.

That isn't true, though, as this is normal in growing up, mostly after graduating high school and the years to come afterward. But there is always a positive outcome from the negative, meeting new people who turn into new friends, creating new and stronger bonds, leading to new adventures and new memories. And that I think is the best part about growing up.

But I will still miss you, dear friend. Maybe one day we'll cross paths again. On a better note, though, till then, this is my farewell.