Your phone buzzes and you look down to see that you have just received an email. You open your mailbox and much to your dismay you see a message from Canvas with the subject "Assignment Graded: EXAM". Your heart rate speeds up as you switch from email over to your Canvas app. Your emotions start to switch back and forth between hopeful and fearful. You begin to think to yourself, "Hey maybe I didn't do that bad..." and "I feel like at the very least I made a low B". The "Grades" page finishes loading you scroll down and there it is: a big fat steaming F. Upon sight you immediately enter into The 5 Stages of Test Failure.

Stage 1: Denial

This is the stage in which you believe that the grade on Canvas is not actually correct. You'll say things like, "There must have been an error with the scantron", "Maybe I marked the wrong test version", or my personal favorite "This is probably the test score of that guy who's name sounds slightly similar to mine". Much to my dismay none of these scenarios have actually happened to me, and more than likely they haven't happened to you either.

Stage 2: Anger

This is the stage where you begin to think about how completely unfair the test was. You rant endlessly to your classmates, friends, and family about how "She never lectured over that" and how "Literally everybody missed that question". Thankfully this is the shortest stage in the test failing grievance process. If not you wouldn't have many people to complain to during your next post failure rage party.

Stage 3: Bargaining

Shortly after anger comes Bargaining. This is the stage where you send excruciatingly long emails to you're professor using every single excuse you can think of to justify why you could of possibly failed that test. This email typically ends with something along the lines of, "I know the syllabus says there is no extra credit, but is there anything I could do to improve my grade on this test". The emailing method is sometimes replaced by sprinting to your professor during their next available office hour and begging and more than likely crying in hopes that they will add a couple of points to your test. Unfortunately bargaining typically only yields a snarky email response, or a tissue and a swift kick out of your profs office.

Stage 4: Depression

This is the stage where you completely lose hope. Thoughts begin to cross your mind like, "I will never amount to anything" or "I wonder if its time to cut my losses and pursue my dream of becoming a professional dog massager". Everyone deals with this stage in their own way. I personally have dealt by taking down Chic Fil A nugget platters and large Pizza Hut stuffed crust pizzas. Failed tests more than likely led to my freshman 15 and subsequently my appearance on the semi popular twitter account "College Dad Bods". Other popular coping methods include Netflix binge watching and good old fashioned crying if your feeling more traditional.

Stage 5: Acceptance

Contrary to popular belief failing a test is not the end of the world, and this is the stage where you realize this. Possibly the best piece of advice I have received in college to date is "No one will remember your grade on this test when your dead". This quote, although a little morbid, is absolutely true. Failure is a natural part of life, so when you receive an unexpected grade just buckle down, study harder, and chill out. Hopefully as school goes on you'll be able to skip right to this step, because at the end of the day things just have a tendency of working out.