" Hamilton," the Holy Grail for all musical theatre fans and the one thing in our lives that seems truly unattainable. Tickets sold out for almost a year from now and some are listed for upwards of $6,000. (You read that right.) For avid "Hamilton" fans, it seems that seeing Lin, Daveed and Phillipa sing and rap their way through history is only dream. If you've ever yearned to see the winner of 11 Tony Awards in the greatest city in the world, you are not alone. I present to you the five stages of "Hamilton" grief.
1. Denial
We've all been here. I've probably told myself that I'll see "Hamilton" someday about a million times. In this stage of the game, it still seems possible. Sold out tickets are no match for your denial skills. You know that someday you'll be in the room where it happens, but today, you spend all of your free time telling your friends and family just how amazing this show is.2. Anger
Alright, this is a hard stage, and I go back to it quite often. Why can't Lin lower the price of tickets? Or release more? Hamilton makes enough money! Why are all of these celebrities seeing it? They don't even like musical theatre! Will I ever be satisfied? The worst part of this stage? Jealousy. We all have a friend who saw "Hamilton." First of all, how dare they? Rather than living vicariously through them, every tweet, every photo and every comment they have about Hamilton only stirs up hatred. For a brief moment, you hope they burn. I'm not even sorry. You saw "Hamilton," nothing will ever suck again.
3. Bargaining
Begging, groveling, sitting in front of the computer screen, praying for the Ticketmaster gods to release a ticket under $1,000 – this is desperation at its finest. I've spent hours trolling Ebay, ticket sites and other sketchy places for a golden ticket to "Hamilton." And come on, we've all tried to win the lottery at one time or another. Believe me, there is no disappointment as great as losing the "Hamilton" lottery. Plus, the chances are about 1 in 10,000. Entering is easy, winning is harder.
4.Depression
Honestly, it's kind of draining. I've been sitting pretty at this stage for a few months now, and it's the worst. It's extremely saddening to watch something you're so passionate about stay right at arms length. I cried watching the Tony Awards, listening to the soundtrack and following the stars on Instagram, and I know I'm not the only one. Why can't I just see it? Even one song would be enough. Now, news of Lin's exit from the show (and possibly more to follow) is the icing on the cake of sadness.
5. Acceptance
Once you accept that you may never see it, your life will become much easier.
To be honest, I will probably never reach this stage, and you shouldn't, either. If we stop trying to reach our "Hamilton" dreams, we would disappoint the ghost of A. Ham. We cannot throw away our shot. Our time just might come, with ticket sales continuing into 2017 and a national tour in the works. Until then, I'll continue to listen to the soundtrack nonstop.