At Bethel University (Minnesota)

The First Week Of College As Told By Michael Scott

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The worst part about college is the Dementors.

Most college campuses across the nation are now in full swing and have ended the first week of classes. In honor of this, I have decided to compile the general thoughts of most students as told by who other than the illustrious manager of the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin, Michael Scott, the world's best boss.


When the professor keeps you the whole time the first day.


Dealing with Financial Aid.


"You have a project due next week."


"I'm going to class every day this semester."


"Please source all research material."


Freshmen at their first college party.


Everyone else at parties.


Seeing your ex on campus.


That moment when you see how much your books will cost.


No empty parking spaces, seats, or washing machines. Ever.


Mandatory dorm meetings.


False interest in many campus organizations.


Freshmen.


"Does anyone have any questions?"


Hearing the alarm for an 8 a.m.


Finding out your friend saved all the tests and notes for your MWF.


Waiting on your refund check just to blow it on something useless.


When your phone is dry the first weekend.


"I didn't go out on a Monday."


Making new friends.


Waking up late for class.


When you see your friends after being apart all summer.


When you discover a herd of elephants live above you.


Making it through week one, but you still have the rest of the semester.

Good luck on the semester, all. I hope this brightens up your first week! Just remember graduation is just $75,000 in loans and three changes in majors away!


"Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world." - Martin Luther
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