The First Week Of College As Told By Michael Scott

The First Week Of College As Told By Michael Scott

The worst part about college is the Dementors.
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Most college campuses across the nation are now in full swing and have ended the first week of classes. In honor of this, I have decided to compile the general thoughts of most students as told by who other than the illustrious manager of the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin, Michael Scott, the world's best boss.

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When the professor keeps you the whole time the first day.


Dealing with Financial Aid.


"You have a project due next week."


"I'm going to class every day this semester."


"Please source all research material."


Freshmen at their first college party.


Everyone else at parties.


Seeing your ex on campus.


That moment when you see how much your books will cost.


No empty parking spaces, seats, or washing machines. Ever.


Mandatory dorm meetings.


False interest in many campus organizations.


Freshmen.


"Does anyone have any questions?"


Hearing the alarm for an 8 a.m.


Finding out your friend saved all the tests and notes for your MWF.


Waiting on your refund check just to blow it on something useless.


When your phone is dry the first weekend.


"I didn't go out on a Monday."


Making new friends.


Waking up late for class.


When you see your friends after being apart all summer.


When you discover a herd of elephants live above you.


Making it through week one, but you still have the rest of the semester.

Good luck on the semester, all. I hope this brightens up your first week! Just remember graduation is just $75,000 in loans and three changes in majors away!


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Finals Week As Told By Schmidt

Schmidt Happens
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Finals week is finally upon us. The time every college student has dreaded all semester and there is no avoiding it. Let the stress, tears, and sleepless nights commence. Here's Finals Week as Told by Schmidt.

1. When you walk into the library and see that there are no more spots available because every freshman decided to start using the library now.

See Also: Finals Week As Told My Marshall Eriksen

2. You run into someone from your class and they ask you how prepared you are for the final.

3. Your first meltdown begins...

4. And then you get a call from your parents asking you why you've been so on edge lately

5. When you're three coffees deep at 2AM and believe everything will be okay even though you still haven't studied.

6. The day has arrived and it's time to take your first final so you give yourself a quick pep talk.

7. When you are the first one to finish the final early because you didn't study.

SEE ALSO: Finals Week As Told By Dwight Schrute

8. Trying to pack while studying.

9. And then you start wishing you didn't wait until the last minute to pack because now there is no way your stuff will fit into your car.

10. When you get your first grade back.

11. And you have to tell your parents how you did in the class.

12. When all of your roommates are done with their finals and you still have one left.

13. But then your time has finally come and you have finished your last final as well.

14. And you realize you have survived yet another hell week.

Cover Image Credit: tvmedia.ign.com

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10 Lab Struggles All Students Can Relate To

From the hours spent on pre-lab, in the lab, and post-lab, lab takes up so much time and energy.
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For all pre-med students (and anyone who takes a physical science class), you become immediately familiar with labs. But the labs in college are nothing like the trivial, simple, low-stakes labs that you completed in elementary, middle, and high school. Nothing compares to the brutal, rigorous, complex labs that you will endure during your years of college (except maybe brain surgery itself).

1. I don't want to go.



We all think it. We all say it. It's an every week sentiment, not just a once in a while feeling that you get with your other lectures. Walking to lab is like walking to your prison sentence.



2. Four hours is a crazy long time.



Some surgeries are shorter. Let's be honest-why are these labs so long? No eating, drinking, going to the bathroom, or sitting...is that even legal?



3. I am going to be efficient and productive.



My lab partner and I will read over the procedure several times, divide up the work, and be out of here in no time. Ideally, I want to be out of here in three hours max. Okay, more realistically it will be in 4 hours from the start time.

4. Why can't we sit?



But really, I still don't understand how we can be expected to stand and think for so long. The length of the lab itself is brutal enough to endure, but the fact that you don't get to sit means for sure that the post-lab grade is going to suffer.

5. I should drop the class.



I have to do this next week? And the week after? I don't think I'll ever take a class with a lab component ever again. r?

6. Does anyone else look like they know what they are doing?



The lab partners across from us look confused too, right? Or are we the only ones still on Part 1 of the experiment?

7. I don't care how I do. I want to get out of here as quickly as possible.



Whatever grade we get at this point, it doesn't really matter. I just need to get out of here. Plus, they drop the lowest grade, don't they?

8. Does my lab partner understand what we're doing...because I don't.

We haven't started the post lab, or done the calculations. Which part do I get, and which part can my lab partner figure out? The clock is ticking and my feet hurt.

9. Are all of the other groups leaving? Where did everyone go?

Oh shoot. Why did it get so quiet? Are they leaving too? Man, I've got to get out of here. My goggles are fogging up and giving me a headache.

10. Wow, these goggle marks are hideous.



These are going to last for at least another 3 hours. Well, at least I get to leave...and do this again next week.

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia

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