Being the age of 20 (or in your 20s, in college, etc) is a constant battle of having to balance newfound responsibilities and the natural urge to get out into the world and have fun. Tell me, what are we supposed to do exactly? We're barely adults, some of us can't even legally drink, but we're adults enough to have to pay bills and have an idea of exactly what we want to do for the rest of our lives. We're supposed to be finding our place in the world -- or, rather, how we want to contribute to society as members of it -- and end up forgetting that we also need to find ourselves. It's a constant conundrum of feeling lost.
This is what it looks like: it looks like bags under your eyes, but are they from work or going out the night before? Or maybe from being too anxious about life to sleep? The world will never know (the answer, honestly, is probably all of it). Making plans is suddenly ridiculous: What're you doing this week? Work, then work the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that. It's deciding whether it's worth it to go out when you know you have to be up early the next day; it's backing out of a dream trip because you have to catch up on bills or your car suddenly needs fixed. It's when half the people you know are getting married or having kids and the other half are never sober enough to know where they're at, let alone where they're going in life (and somehow, you're stuck in the middle of that, too). It's wanting to prove yourself and get to where you want to be, but it's also being angry that you're expected to go anywhere at all right now.
In my experience and most humble, outspoken opinion, this is a pretty awkward time, and it's honestly terrible. Us 20-somethings are expected to spend the rest of our lives being responsible even though we're literally only one fourth of the way through our lives (given the current life expectancy). When are we supposed to get out into the world and experience life? When are we supposed to see the beautiful planet we inhabit? When are we supposed to meet new people or try to make a difference? When are we supposed to live?
The age of 20 is the fine line between being selfish and being forgotten. Our generation is constantly told that we are entitled, lazy and think of nothing but ourselves. But here's my question: what's wrong with refusing to spend our lives as nothing more than labor? What's wrong with challenging the systems that you've created, and what's wrong with trying to be happy past material gain or financial security? The age of twenty is pressure. It is so much pressure, societal and internal. But what's wrong with thinking about our own happiness and worth as people? What's wrong with not jumping into responsibility right away or remembering to find ourselves?
Although you're technically an adult at the age of 18, 20 is when it hits. When the title of "teenager" is gone, "adult" comes right into play. There's no in between, and life is so rushed. I feel as though I am much too young to be as tired as I am. I am constantly told, "This is how life is. It's not fair. Get used to it, welcome to the adult world." But you know what? I'm tired of that. Who says that's how life has to be? The age of 20 is the time to make your own decisions; it is the time to explore, before you're trapped or settled down.
Twenty is the time to stop being lost, to stop feeling confused, and to start taking charge of your own life, whether you decide to be an adult right away or not.
