Hamilton is a musical about the life of founding father and Secretary of the Treasury, Alexander Hamilton. The decision to cast the white historical figures with black, Latino and Asian actors, along with the heavily R&B influenced soundtrack, has made the musical into a smash hit. Lin-Manuel Miranda, the writer and star of the show, has even been short-listed for Time Magazine's person of the year. Even though the show has yet to go on tour (restricting the audience to people in or close to New York), people nationwide have become obsessed with the catchy soundtrack, and I am no exception. So I present to you, a journey through my inevitable descent into Hamilton-mania.
1. You scoff at the idea that people can be in love with a musical that they've never seen.
I mean, the music can be good, but a musical is a show. It's a visual thing. And the lyrics of the songs allude to a plot that will probably be totally above my head if I listen to just the soundtrack. It's just not possible to adore a musical without actually seeing the musical.
2. You buy the 46-song soundtrack anyways because you have an iTunes gift-card lying around.
There are so many songs it takes like fifteen minutes to download the full album.
3. You listen once through on shuffle, getting confused by all the names.
Aaron Burr? Is this a fictional guy? Pretty sure we never learned about him in my history class. How much of this musical is real again? Am I really listening to someone rap the Declaration of Independence?
4. You listen through a second time.
Okay, this shit is pretty good.
5. You listen to the Cabinet Battles five times in a row.
IMAGINE WHAT'S GON HAPPEN IF THEY TRY TO TAX OUR WHISKEY
6. You listen to the Cabinet Battles eight more times each.
DOIN WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS YOU DO IN MONTICELLO
7. You realize that Helpless is eerily similar to Beyonce's Countdown.
Literally the only thing better than Countdown is a show-tunes-re-telling-of-history version of Countdown.
8. Your favorite song is now The Schuyler Sisters.
Angelica Schuyler is perfection and you simultaneously want to
a) Be her
b) Be her sister
c) Be able to croon the Declaration of Independence as angelically as she can
d) Be able to diss Thomas Jefferson in flawless rap like she can
9. Your favorite song is now Room Where it Happens.
You murmur "the room where it happens, the room where it happens" as you walk to class with a jazzy curl in your step. You have to incessantly remind yourself that you probably look like a crazy person. You don't care. You just want to be in the room where it happens. (The room where it happens, the room where it happens.)
10. Your favorite song is now Say No to This.
You spend fifteen minutes trying to murmur "stay" as sultrily as Maria Reynolds does. You give up and realize that you probably shouldn't be trying to imitate one half of America's first mega sex scandal anyway.
11. Your favorite song is now Washington on your Side.
There's something insanely and undeniably fun about screaming SOUTHERN MOTHER-FUCKING DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS.
12. You discover that on genius.com the lyrics to every Hamilton song are available with annotations and historical references, and you read every single one.
Who knew that John Adams actually called Alexander Hamilton a "Creole bastard?" Well, you do now.
13. The softer and subtler songs are starting to grow on you.
The cabinet battles are hysterical and fun, but Wait For It is a fucking emotional masterpiece. "Death doesn't discriminate / between the sinners and the saints / it takes and it takes and it takes." Goosebumps. Everywhere.
14. You check the prices of upcoming tickets for Hamilton.
There are no tickets. It is sold out. Damn.
15. You realize three fundamental truths at the exact same time:
a) You are obsessed with Hamilton.
b) You are obsessed with Hamilton.
c) You are obsessed with Hamilton.
