The world is a beautiful place that created many beautiful things for our eyes to behold. There are wonders and spectacles in this world like The Grand Canyon, The Great Pyramid of Giza, The Statue of Zeus in Olympia, The Temple of Artemis, Kanye West’s Twitter, and Wawa Hoagies. But none are as amazing and spectacular as the shore. Not just any shore, though, the great shores of South Jersey. I don’t give a damn about your Seaside Heights or your Long Branch. Give me my Wildwood, my Ocean City, my Sea Isle, and my Atlantic City. People will be quick to disagree with me on this because they are uncultured. But it is a fact proven by science and math that South Jersey beaches are the eighth, ninth, and tenth wonders of the world.
Have you ever been to Manco & Manco's Pizza? If your answer is no then your taste buds have not prepared for a worldly delicacy. You cannot speak against this until you have tasted the greatest cheese to sauce ratio on this big blue planet. You will wish that Manco’s would drive to your house personally every day of your life and you will be sad because you realized that if they did that it would be considered a dumb business strategy and you would be the reason they went out of business. Sam’s Pizza also gets the same treatment because eating this pizza will not only create modern medical miracles but it will also give you the confidence to do anything in your life. This is all possible because of the South Jersey boardwalks. South Jersey shore pizza is the greatest thing to happen ever and if you argue that New York pizza is better I will leave the conversation and never speak to you again because I do not need your negativity in my life.
Imagine being 10 years old again, and having the opportunity to go to a waterpark, amusement park, boardwalk, and beach all in the same day. I was a pretty excited and rambunctious little one when I was able to go to Wildwood. Morey’s Pier was literally the greatest thing about summer and if you did not feel the same you must have been a child that fueled off of innocent people’s misery and pain. It is a WATERPARK connected to a BOARDWALK and connected to that boardwalk was also an AMUSEMENT PARK. I would be excited for that even if I was 90 and I’m not even sure if they would let me on the rides still but you can bet that wrinkly self will still try.
North Jersey elitists will argue that South Jersey beaches are trashy. But lest we forget that the utter train wreck known as the MTV Reality Show ‘Jersey Shore’ was filmed in Seaside Heights. Think about that long and hard. Think about what happened in that show…Now that you’re done thinking about that think about the beauty and astonishing shores of Ocean City. What shore is trashy now, fam?
