Since forever, our common factor has been two things: her and her illness. She's hard to handle, I know. Trust me. I know. For more than a decade, it's been a constant for our family and me to see someone we know and love get lost in their illness.

Something I have learned from it is that she is not to blame. She is not who's behind the insurmountable pain we've all faced. She is not who's behind her cursed words or her harsh language toward us and others. She is not to blame for what her illness tells her to do, and she is not to blame for what her illness drags along with it.

You, on the other hand, suffer from an illness too, illness of the heart. You've become so ignorant due to the hurt and heartache and constant exhaustion of her illness that you've let it take over your entire being and existence. You've hated her because you think she controls her illness, but in actuality, her illness controls her. To see someone you love suffer so much from something you can't control or stop is exhausting. It can turn once great loved ones into horrible strangers.

It is not her fault, but you make it her fault because it's easier to put a face to the blame rather than an illness. I've taken her illness as a blessing. You've taken it as a curse. I took it in stride, with a lot of heartache, but still in stride. You took it as hatred and destruction. This is to my family who broke before I did, because although you hate her, I forgave her illness.

"It's a disorder, not a decision." -- Anonymous