Romance and relationships all start at the same place; getting to know each other. How we get to know each other has changed from generation to generation, but the concept remains the same; spend time with and get to know one another. During the last century this concept of dating has remained the same, until now. Our generation has changed the face of dating. Things are no longer black and white, but a messy shade of grey.
Why has it changed? Technology has changed the way society and people interact. Constant communication has both positively and negatively affected the world. Phones have allowed instant messages and dating apps to become common place. Our generation has grown up in this new world. No longer do you meet people on the street, but on an app where all you see is six pictures. There's always a new person at your fingertips. This has changed the way we "date". We have created our own mind games and have allowed them to become common place. We tell ourselves to "ignore their messages" and "wait thirty minutes to respond". People worry that they are "too quick to respond", "too straightforward", "too open" or "too available". Due to this we have changed the meaning of dating.
A date is no longer a date, and to say you are dating means you are in a committed relationship. There are so many options, and sex is so available, that one person is not enough. We're told to "play the field", but this mentality removes all respect from the equation. This new state of dating needed a new term, so we coined "talking" to express what dating used to; two people going and doing something together in a romantic way. The only difference is "talking" continues the destruction of respect between those two people. "Talking" allows these two people to have a relationship for months without ever addressing it. They can sleep with other people, but never have to discuss it.
"Talking" forms unhealthy relationships, and communication is more likely to happen over the phone, not in person. We have begun to celebrate a lack of real communication and openness. Our generation lives in a constant state of confusion, are we together or not? Is this a relationship or can we see other people? Even for those who do not play into this new type of dating it's still hard. Having a real discussion about what you want or are looking for is considered too straightforward and "clingy". Those who ask for what they want are considered "old school", while "playing games" has become common place. How can we change this? Do we even want to change this? "Talking" allows us to never grow up. You can turn thirty and still never have a real relationship. This concept allows us to remain at an arm's length. We can forever remain in our twenties; emotionally undeveloped and confused.
