In the Bible, there is a verse my mom taught me from a young age. When I started to have problems with people at school or I became afraid of something, my mom always quoted this verse. Matthew 17:20 states: “He replied, ‘Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’”
This verse speaks volumes to me as a college student because even something like a test can be daunting to us and can terrify us. But remembering this verse has helped me get through some difficult times.
I know people always say (and it is true no doubt) that you should run to God all the time, not just when you are having a hard time. But my relationship with God has been a little different. I got away from God in the last few years because after everything that has happened. Why would a loving God do that to me? Why would a God that is supposed to be so good, let me go through so much pain nonstop for more than three years now? I stopped praying and even dreaded going to church looking for an excuse to not go. But even at my lowest points, in the back of my mind that little voice in my head repeated that verse even though I did not always believe it.
I met my now husband, Ryan, back then and he even repeated that verse to me. I shrugged him off, but those words stick with a person. With him getting ready to leave now, God is truly all I have. Faith is all I have. Because without my faith, I will fall apart and fall back into the black hole that I was in just three years ago. I will not be able to go on without him. So as long as I have that faith of a mustard seed, there is a greater chance of strength. I will pray for strength daily, I will pray for grace, and I will have to have faith that God will give me those things that I need in a time where I will not have my person.
Ryan loves me more than anything in this world, but his love for God is even greater. He is having faith that God will help him get through this deployment. If my husband is going to a foreign country where it is hotter than Hades there and will eat meals out of a bag for months on end, then how can I not have faith that God will get me through it, too. In my darkest times, I will remember that mustard seed. Because, after all, God says that with that faith, I will be able to move mountains, I can tell a tree to be picked up and moved from one place to another. But I can only do those that with faith.
College is hard. This week is finals week and it is stressful and the pressure is on. You begin to think that one bad grade will make you doomed for the rest of your life. But have faith. Have faith in the job interview you’re going to have, have faith in your studying, have faith in your friends. But most importantly, have faith in God because at the end of the day, he is the reason we can continue to be around the ones we love and wake up to.
