Before we delve into the intricacies of the fair, we should discuss the most important aspect of the fair— the food. Here’s a quick list of what was offered at the Erie County Fair: donut burgers, deep fried mashed potatoes, deep fried chicken wing dip, fried peanut butter and jelly, and yes, a deep fried Snickers bar. Here is a complete list if those don't interest you: Exploring Food at the Erie County Fair. I did not have any of these delights. I am not one to be snooty and say that these treats are super unhealthy. I don’t really care what people eat! I just opted out because I was already feeling like a fatso. Maybe that will be my next article. Frank Feelings of a Fatso by a sad, overweight, Michael Stilson.

Seeing how I am such a boring and lame person, I did not go on any of the rides, either. To be fair, I went to three amusement parks this summer, and I was not really in the mood to be swooshed around through Hamburg, New York. But from what I saw, plenty of kids, adults, and even tweens were having loads of fun on the rides.

While I neglected to play any of the traditional fair games, my parents and I spent a crazy amount of time and effort on the Wizard of Oz Pusher arcade game. It is hard to explain, so I urge you to watch this YouTube video:Done

This nine-minute video does not give it justice. I guess it is that kind of a "you had to be there moments." Crazy addictive!

After we declared bankruptcy from playing so much of the game, we went inside to see some wooden sculptures. To be honest, I wasn’t thrilled to look at them. But the room had fans, so I joined in. One of the more memorable sculptures was a wooden shoe. Was this shoe made for a sophisticated pirate? One who grew bored with the run of the mill peg? These are the types of questions that our generation should be asking...

There was a handful of vendors and merchants at the fair. The majority of the sellers were dog related, cooking supplies, and home improvement offers. There were two merchants that caught my attention. The first was a toe ring vendor. To be frank, I believe that toe rings are just gross. You toe ring people are probably wearing them just because you think your feet are your best feature. If you’d like others to pay attention to your feet, there are some non-jewelry wearing options. Here are just a few things you can say to warrant someone’s attention: “Hey, you with the face! Look at my toes! Do you see them!?!” Or “This little piggy went to the market…and this little piggy is dying for your attention!” Do you see how easy that was? We tend to forget that some verbal communication can be used in lieu of tacky toe rings!

The second vendor that caught my eye was an older man standing in front of a sign saying “Will you go to Heaven?” What a direct and forward question! What was he selling, by the way? He asked people as they passed by “Can I ask you a question?” I was tempted to respond with a “You already did!” kind of answer. But being a polite Buffalonian that I am, I smiled and said no thank you.

If I were asked to judge the fair I would give it a fair rating. Get it? Because fair and fair have two meanings. Aren’t I clever? What do I have to do for you to like me? Do I have to wear a toe ring? Please…do not make me wear a toe ring. I beg of you!

All in all, the fair was a great time, and you should attend next year!