Now from the title I know what you may be thinking, “Oh, great, another typical feminist rant.” I can assure you of two things. One: yes, this is a rant. And two: it's not your typical feminist rant about the double standard. I’m going to examine both sides of the double standard because it's not only women who face the wrath. The double standard is something anyone can fall victim to every day.

Stop slut shaming.

The first example would be the double standard most typically seen, and directed toward women. The most typical example is seen in the “slut” or “prude” labeling. We all know this routine by now if a girl is slow to hook up with boy she’s labeled a prude, if she hooks up with him the first night, she’s a slut. How the hell can she win? Either way she’s labeled from the beginning. So here’s my question for you boys: “What the hell are you expecting?” You don’t want a slut, but you don’t want a prude. Well do you want, a unicorn? A magical fairy perhaps? But just because a girl puts out the first night, it doesn’t make her a slut. And if she waits, it doesn’t make her a prude.

So you're making a split-second judgment based on one thing, and one thing only. Meaning a girl may want to wait so you build a greater connection before jumping into bed, you have no idea if she’s a prude or not based off of her wanting to wait, so you could be missing out on the girl of your dreams solely because, you think she’s a prude before you’ve even had the chance to sleep with her. So you honestly have no idea, she could be a hardcore “50 Shades of Grey” freak, or not. The point is you don’t know nor will you ever find out due to your rash judgments.

This goes for girls too. We are so quick to call other girls sluts and whores. "Did you see what Jenny wore tonight, she looked like such a slut." Deep down I know you are all guilty of this and usually the reason girls slut shame is because they are jealous. They see that girl who looked amazing last night as a threat, as competition. Instead of insulting and degrading other females we should lift each other up. Compliment her if she looks good, stop feeding the double standard because you feel insecure, and degrading someone makes you feel better.

You're only feeding rape culture.

The second problem I have with the double standard is it fuels rape culture. No girl wants to be called a slut, but it happens all the time. It's honestly unsettling. A girl can sleep with a boy spontaneously one time and suddenly she has to deal with the consistent buzzing, gossip, and whispers of “slut, and whore”. Now not only is she humiliated but she no longer has a chance with any other boys who hear of her “reputation.” They will all expect the same thing, an easy one-night stand, because of one instance in which she was slut shamed. Not only this, but it pressures girls to cry rape in order to avoid this humiliation, ruining an innocent person’s life, and degrading the credibility of women who are real victims of rape.

She's not asking for it.

The next example is having to do with style and clothing. The most typical is how females dress, especially when they go out. “She looks like she’s asking for it.” I’ve certainly heard this from my father. I've heard this statement so many times it's beginning to sound like a broken record. “Your shorts are too short, your bikini is skimpy, a nose ring is unprofessional.” This is probably the most utterly irritating to me of the examples I will give. Now a girl can’t wear shorts or a tank top without getting comments. We have kids as early in elementary school being sent home because they have spaghetti straps on their dress, and it's distracting to the boys.

Now you can go ahead and argue if she doesn’t want the wrong attention she shouldn’t dress suggestive. To refute that argument, girls don’t dress to be suggestive. Her outfit doesn’t talk, her outfit can’t give you consent, so why are we even making this a thing? As if a girl deserves to get raped because she’s wearing shorts and a crop top in the summer. No she’s not wearing that because she wants to have sex with someone, she’s wearing it for various other reasons like, it's 95 degrees and she doesn’t want sweat stains showing everywhere, or she’s young and been working out really heard and feels confident and good about her body in that outfit, or simply because she feels pretty in it.

She’s not wearing it because she wants to have sex with you, so boys can stop thinking that us girls do everything we do to please them. To be honest we really don’t care - you’re not that important, trust me! Now this rule isn’t just female specified, it can go for males too. You may be more comfortable passing the man in a business suit, rather than the teenager in vans and a hoodie, but the reality of the situation is these factors have nothing to do with who that person is under those clothes, that man in the business suit could very well be the next Ted Bundy, you don’t know, because you don’t know him!

Tattooed and employed.

Moving on, I'll talk about body modifications, such as piercings and tattoos. These are things that with times changing have certainly made exceptional progress, but are still very susceptible to judgments.

Last spring break I was in Fort Lauderdale. Three of my friends and I were venturing toward the beach to meet up with some fellow Purdue students. As we were walking a car filled with guys came to a stop light gave a harmless beep and a “hey girls.” Now the outgoing part of me responded with a loud, “What’s up?!” This was a normal situation, there were thousands of spring breakers in Fort Lauderdale at the time and I thought nothing of just giving a friendly response.

However, one of my friends said, “Hayley what the hell! Are you crazy? Those boys have tattoos, you’re gonna get us raped.” I was immediately taken aback, what did I do that was so concerning? I didn’t flash them or even go try to flirt, just a friendly hello. I can say I was furious; this was probably one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard anyone say. Having a half sleeve or a nose ring to me usually indicates a more artistic, open minded, or creative person, but never something that should invoke fear or any other message.

There are doctors with full body tattoos, and sleeves but you would never know because their clothing covers them, so tell me how having a tiger tattooed on your chest, or a silver hoop tells anything about a person’s values, worth, or if they are a threat to your safety.

They're not out of Line, you're just possessive.

The last example I will share is something I see often. It’s the double standard in relationships. I see it with couples around me, I myself have experienced it, but I have mostly seen it exemplified from both parties in my parent’s relationship. My mom gets mad at my dad whenever he goes on vacations or fishing trips with his friends, even bringing me to cheer competitions she would call him consistently automatically assuming that he’s cheating, or looking for girls.

Now she does this while complaining that my father makes a fuss over what she wears all the time, which he frequently does. The problem with this is you can’t say you’re significant other isn’t allowed to go out with their friends every once in a while, but you can. The problem in this situation is that this controlling double standard behavior is because of a deeper issue, or insecurity in that relationship.

If you were secure and confident in your relationship you should have no problem with your wife going for a GNO or your husband hitting up a local sports bar to catch the game with some buddies. I think we as humans need to a little less judgmental, and a little more open. The saying "Don’t judge a book by a cover" stands its ground for a reason.