While all of us would love to be able to channel our inner Gordon Ramsay whenever we're feeling hungry, most of us are incapable of being anything more than an idiot sandwich when it comes to cooking.
Some of you may be unskilled in the kitchen, while others just aren't able to bankroll their culinary creations; hopefully this article will guide you in in your path to becoming a garbage pail gourmand.
These recipes may require a few things, some of these things you might have, and might not; but I guarantee there will be something for everyone to enjoy, even the destitute and homeless.
1. Spaghetti Sandwich
Ingredients
- Left over spaghetti (preferably from mom or grandmother)
- A piece of bread, or two if you're feeling fancy
Steps
- Put the spaghetti on bread and fold the bread over (unless you're using two pieces, like an aristocrat)
- Microwave the sandwich, or just heat it up if microwave is unavailable
- Pour a little bit of pasta sauce (it doesn't matter what kind) on top of your sandwich, and you're ready to eat
2. Peanut Butter Protein Ball
Ingredients
- Almonds, or any other type of nuts (peanuts, walnuts, macadamia)
- Peanut butter
Steps
- Scoop out peanut butter from the jar with a spoon, or with your hand like a bear, and place in a bowl (like a bowl you would eat ice cream out of)
- Add nuts to peanut butter ball and mix it up; that spoon would probably come in handy right now
- Once mixed properly, you're ready to eat
3. Homemade Ramen Stew
Ingredients
- Hot water
- Noodles (any kind)
- Your choice of veggies and meat (freeze-dried, questionable products are preferred)
Steps
- Simply put everything into the hot water, let your stupid food cook, and you're ready to eat, don't burn your mouth
4. EggBread
Ingredients
- Some egg
- Some bread
- Desire
Steps
- Crack your egg(s) onto the bread
- Place your EggBread in a pan (on a stove) sunny side up
- Let the egg(s) cook while the bread begins to burn
- EggBread is ready when the egg side is soggy and the bread side is burnt to a crisp
5. Cheesy Roll-Up
Ingredients
- Cheese
- Tortillas
Steps
- Cut up cheese then Hiplace in tortilla
- Roll up tortillas
- microwave the roll-ups, or don't, it won't really make things better
6. Piedmont Delight
Ingredients
- White chalk, clay, white dirt or regular dirt
Steps
- Find some clay, or "white dirt"
- Eat it
Now whether or not these recipes seem appetizing to you, and of course they do, they will most likely be able to quell your hunger, if not to induce vomiting or diarrhea immediately; but hey, that's where the Piedmont Delight would come in handy.
This may not be what's served at some fancy restaurant, like Chili's, but it's edible all the same, probably.
