A wedding day is a day that people wait all their lives for. There is so much planning, time, effort and money that goes into a wedding. So much detail that the guests and even the wedding party might not realize. I have not had an actual wedding ceremony and reception, but I’ve been part of a few and helped brides prepare for their own.

I’ve formed a list of the “Dos and Don’ts” of a wedding for both the wedding party and the guests.

1. DO—Always RSVP!

If you are for sure attending, unsure, or certain you cannot, always send back the RSVP to the bride and groom. They have to have a close number as possible of guests attending to make sure there is enough seating, food, and favors.

I’ve been to weddings where the wedding ran out of food before everyone ate due to planning for only the amount that said yes to attending. The bride and groom also spend so much on postage and envelopes, all you have to do is fill in the lines and send it back!

If you are unsure, send it back with “unsure but a good chance.” It’s better to plan for your attendance than not!

2. DO—Stay with how many you RSVP!

Today it’s common to have a “plus one” to attend the wedding with you. However, you need to include the statement “plus one” or check the box that asks if there is a plus one coming. If 30 guests bring a plus one without making it known, that’s 30 extra people who need plates and seats. Please account for all your attendees!

3. Brides,DO—Include a spot on the RSVP for song requests!

Many many brides constantly text their friends or post on Facebook searching for the best songs for a wedding. They want to provide their guests with an exciting and energetic atmosphere! It’s never a bad idea to add a section on the RSVP for guests to list five or so songs they would love to dance to at the reception. This will make it easier on you and the DJ, and it will guarantee a good time for the guests!

3. DO—Always eat a piece of cake/cupcake!

The bride and groom sat at a bakery sampling so many cakes and cupcakes to make sure they found the one their guests would love most. They also spent a pretty penny on said cake/cupcakes, so please just take a small piece or have a cupcake. It will make them feel good knowing they’re not wasting money and cake!

4. DO—Specify something you liked when you speak to the bride or groom (especially the bride), don’t just say "Congratulations."

This couple could have handmade every single detail of this wedding. They put so much thought into each individual thing. If you give them a hug and say something sweet and complimentary like, “Congrats, y’all! Both of you look great and I LOVE your centerpieces!" They will appreciate that their efforts were known.

5. DO—Feel free to write your own vows!

It is never a bad idea to be personal and honest. It is your day and if you don’t want to recite some funny words in the regular vows that everyone uses, then don’t! It is so romantic and sweet to recite your love for one another in front of your loved ones, and if you choose to do that with your own vows, we all support you!

6. DON'T—Keep your hand in your phone 24/7... unless you're a photographer.

This couple has paid a professional photographer to bring cameras and video equipment to do nothing more than capture every moment of their ceremony and reception. There is NOTHING I hate more than seeing wedding pictures of the ceremony and iPhones poked out everywhere.

Susan, your video to show your bible study ladies can wait, the photographer can get better shots than your camera ever will.

7. DON'T—Wear the wedding colors if you are not in the wedding.

If the wedding colors are light blue, yellow and grey, do not wear your favorite grey maxi dress. This can be misleading as if you’re part of the wedding party, especially if the bridesmaids are wearing dresses a similar style to yours. Guys, also make sure your wedding attire doesn’t blend in with the groomsmen.

8. DON'T—Waste the open bar!

Y’all. Open bars are pretty common, but open bars are very expensive. You are encouraged to use the open bar and have a good time. Though it’s free to you, do not go get a drink and two sips into it, set it down because your song comes on and you want to dance, then after the song, go get a new drink. It is so easy to waste drinks from an open bar, so be mindful that those drinks had to be paid for and are meant for everyone of age at the wedding.

9. DON'T—Be the one that takes the open bar too far.

This is not a frat party or football tailgate. Though there is alcohol, do not be the one to get so intoxicated that you cause trouble. There have been weddings I’ve attended where a bridesmaid stumbled and poured her signature drink that was red onto the bride's dress. Have fun by all means but please make sure your attendance is wanted at the next wedding.

10. DON'T—Think that this YOUR day... even if you are in the wedding party.

Your job as a bridesmaid, maid of honor or matron of honor is simple.

You hold her dress when she pees, get her some drink to calm her down if it’s running late, make sure her dress doesn’t drag on the ground, simple things.

If you’ve been married and you are now part of someone else’s day, nobody wants to hear, “Well that isn’t how I did it at my wedding or, “Well at my wedding, we did it this way.” If you haven’t been married nobody wants to hear you say, “Well I would do it this way” or, “If it were my day this is how I would do it” because it is in fact, not your day.

Advice is always helpful but please do not trying to relive your wedding day by being a dictator on her day. She included you to support her and enjoy it, not to make it your wedding day.

To all the engaged couples preparing for your wedding day, do not stress so much. You’ll have each other no matter how the day goes. Enjoy yourselves and enjoy making memories as husband and wife. To those in the wedding party or attending, make them cherish this day for the rest of their lives, they’ve worked hard to celebrate their love with you!