Break ups are the worst. It is a fact of life that break ups suck. The worst thing about them is the aftermath - the pain, the stress, and sometimes even the awkwardness. Whether you haven't come to terms with the break up and wish you could get back together with your ex, or you think you are over your ex (except the thought of them still hurts sometimes) - there are things you can do to help yourself get over your ex. Unfortunately, there are also ways of self-sabotaging your recovery from a break up. The following is a list of dos and don'ts to get over a break up! Remember, though, the best way to get over an ex is to give yourself time to heal.
1) Don’t Drink Your Feelings Away
2) Do Keep Your Mind Busy
After a breakup, it's nearly impossible to think of anything else. You find yourself thinking in madenning circles. Whether it be Netflix, work, a new hoppy - do find something to distract you and keep your mind busy.
3) Don't Eat Your Feelings Away
4) Do Cut Your Ties
5) Don't Use Other People To Make Yourself Feel Better
Treat people with respect and dignity. It can be easy when you're in pain to think of yourself above others. Just remember to use things, not people! Don't let your hard time be an excuse to take advantage of the people in your life.
6) Do Volunteer For a Good Cause
Sometimes the best way to help yourself is to help others.
7) Don't Stalk Them On Social Media
Stalking your ex on social media is always always always a bad idea. Constantly seeing pictures and posts of an ex makes it even harder to move on with your own life.
8) Do Join A Club/Group/Community
You're left with a hole in your social life after you break up with someone, and one way to help fill that hole is to make new friends and spend time getting to know new people.
9) Don’t Think “What if…” statements
There is nothing you can do to change the past. You can't go back in time and take anything back or say anything differently. Even though it hurts, the relationship ended because it was not meant to work out. Torturing yourself over what could have been is self-sabotaging. Embrace your current place in life and try to accept the past. Until you come to terms with it, you can't really look forward to your future.
10) Do Work Out
Don't get sad, get swol.
11) Don’t Run To Tinder
Drowning yourself in a sea of suitors is not going to make you better. No one else can fix you, except yourself. Friends can help you, yes, but running to find a new romantic partner is not going to give you the closure you want.
12) Do Embrace A Period of Self-reflection
It is nearly impossible to not think about yourself or your break up, and that is okay. You have to really love yourself before you can be over an ex, or ready to let anyone new in.
13) Don’t Blame Yourself
A relationship is between two people. It is almost never entirely one person's fault if a relationship fails. Remember that whether you ended it, he or she ended it, or it was a mutual breakup - you weren't meant to be together, and the relationship would have failed eventually.
14) Do Let Yourself Cry
Bottling up your emotions is not the way to get past a breakup. Give yourself the opportunity to express your feelings, so that you can purge the bad and have the emotional capacity to accept the positive things that come your way.