I’ve learned here, at the University at Albany, that one incredibly important aspect of my life makes no sense. I’m so proud of my accomplishments. I take initiative. I’m a leader and I genuinely enjoy helping others, even if I am just someone who can lend an ear. And yet, no one in my circle seems to enjoy my same happiness or compassion.
I know, this notion seems bizarre. How could someone who radiates happiness only feel discourteousness when he’s faced by some of his peers, who at face value, seem like earnest people.
I’ll tell you exactly how: it’s called, in my own mind, “The Discourse of Difference.” This principle dives into the spoken and unspoken language that controls how we isolate each other based on superficial characteristics in modern society. It already sounds like a book title, and actually, it is. It’s the title of my future book that I plan to write throughout my days here at school, as a magnifying glass onto the little known societal pressures of a white teenager who feels that he can’t fit in with anyone around him.
This storyline is transcended by the problems of our society that the boy has to encounter — such as race, class, masculinity and self-awareness.
Yes, these problems may not be well known. But for someone like me, who has a connection to his emotions as they relate to the harsh realities of the modern world, it can provide strong insight into an area where not much light has been shined. This is my goal — to dive into the hearts and minds of teens, who have been so brainwashed to act in a particular way, and educate them about the cynicism of our society. Education, for me, is the outlet for moving from inside this metaphorical cage of confusion to its enlightened, more free counterpart, understanding.
It’s very tough to know whether you are on the inside or the outside of this cage. It’s invisible and it moves at a rapid pace — in every direction — trying to keep you from trespassing over its boundaries. The motor behind the expansive intensity of the cage is fueled by our government, media, popular culture and external global pressures. As the tensions of the world approach an all-time high, the pressure thrust on someone such as myself, who is a leader at such a young age, is just as high, because I have to rise to the occasion and be strong, but not without caution. I must take into consideration these societal pressures resting on my shoulders, and act accordingly to improve in spite of them.
My roommates made me realize that I no longer represent the status quo, they do. This is very sad for the world I live in that is media obsessed, overwhelmingly conceited and headstrong toward any key that doesn’t open their lock. Difference can be scary, yet empowering. I feel empowered by my differences because I am aware of them. I can help change the world because of them. They empower me to be better and way more different than I ever thought I could be. I will leave a legacy, a legacy of difference. I will leave UAlbany knowing that I made a difference in the education of the people I inspire.
Cheers.
