Let me just preface this by saying I love my roommates. Each and every one of them is very near and dear to my heart. They're so precious, most times I just want to pinch all of their darling cheeks and write sonnets about them.
That being said, I also want to strangle them sometimes.
Coexisting with eight other people is no easy feat, even when they all happen to be angels on earth. We also have approximately a thousand honorary roommates who are in my common room more often than I am. I sometimes forget they don't actually live here until I ask them for help with something and they have the audacity to reply, "but I'm a guest." Although I wouldn't give up my living arrangement for the world, there are a few things that drive me absolutely up the wall. Here is my list of the difficulties that come with living in my townhouse.
1. Every single bathroom in our house is always occupied whenever I have to go the bathroom.
Not that I ever check the third floor bathroom. I generally try to avoid climbing extra stairs if I can help it.
2. We haven't had paper towels in our kitchen since November.
And we have never had napkins.
3. I have to physically drag my body to the library in order to get work done.
If I try to do work in my room the sounds of laughter and happiness from the common room will drift up and tempt me to abandon my studies so I can join in on the festivities.
4. Everyone tries to last the longest in the silent game of who is going to cave and take out the trash.
I end up losing quite frequently.
5. Someone broke the shower door on my floor and now it is extremely unhelpful when it comes to functioning as a door should.
Usually it's able to be wrenched open if you put some muscle into it but once I was inside and it got stuck and I quite seriously thought that I would die in there.
(I ended up removing the entire door from the frame which, let me tell you, was not an easy task)
6. Whenever I actually decide to clean the common room the vacuum is always at the house next door.
7. So is the mop.
8. So is the drink dispenser.
9. So are half of our glasses.
10. Everything we own is next door.
11. There's definitely something wrong with our kitchen sink.
Sometimes it doesn't drain properly so the sink fills up with water, mysterious bits of food and other miscellaneous objects. Whenever this happens, the house has to decide who among us is the patron saint of cleaning sinks. Usually Kate takes one for the team but once Cayley stuck her hand into the murky water to pull the drain and accidentally touched a piece of floating soggy bread so bless them both.
12. I get offered food every time I walk through the door and I am physically incapable of turning down food.
At this rate I will be 500 pounds by the time I graduate. I would honestly be surprised if I walked into my house and Olivia was not there offering me a plate of microwaved tortilla chips with shredded cheese over them.
13. Whenever the doorbell rings everyone immediately looks around at everyone else to see who will be the least lazy and actually go answer it.
14. Alex Young has never heard of the concept of walking upstairs to get someone's attention and instead resorts to what I fondly refer to as a whale call.
15. Our toilet is extremely uncooperative so flushing it is a twelve step process that only the four people living on the second floor understand.
16. We've broken a thousand knives since the beginning of the year so we will soon have to resort to cutting things with spoons.
However, our spoons have also started dwindling in number so by the end of the year we will just eat everything with our hands.
17. Everyone's eggs mysteriously disappear at an alarming rate.
18. My threats aren't taken seriously.
When I informed Sarah that I would burn her house to the ground if she didn't go to the library with me she didn't even bat an eye and just said, "you live here too Jacks."
19. Sammy subtly manipulates us into doing favors for her by encouraging us to compete to be her favorite roommate.
20. Daniella perpetually sprints up and down the stairs because she's always in a rush and her stomping sounds eerily similar to a herd of bison.
It is very alarming.
