Disclaimer: I have always been someone to have a boyfriend instead of a hookup buddy. But is that really such a bad thing? I am not sleeping with random guys I met off tinder three hours earlier, or having multiple guys in one night, or even making out with a stranger at a party just for a good time. So what is so wrong with having a boyfriend for a few months and then a different one after one relationship ends? It is not sleeping with multiple people at once but, is still having a good time.
People say being in college is about having a good time but, who says that means needing to sleep around with a bunch of strangers? What is fun about going to a party and then next thing you remember is waking up to a guy you met there but, do you even know his last name? Then having to see him in class the next day or walking past him and his friends must be awkward if not terrifying. I am not saying that having the occasional spur of the moment hook up is a bad thing but, a girl should not be given the same grief if they date around as if she were sleeping around.
Dating different people is exactly what it is called, going out on dates with different guys. Contrary to what seems to be popular belief though, just because a guy takes you out to dinner does not mean that you have to show appreciation by sleeping with him. If a girl wants to go out on a date with a guy one night and then a different guy another night but, not sleep with either of them, why does she deserved to be called names that connect her to actions she hasn’t taken part in? Before girls did not get called sluts or whores if they went on dates with a different guy different nights of the week.
Nowadays “dating” has become a synonym for boyfriend or girlfriend which means restricted dating. In reality dating is just the act of going out on dates. Now even flirting with someone could be misinterpreted. Being the hook up generation can be fun but, it can also be stressful. You go out to dinner three Fridays in a row and either the guy is thinking he should be getting some soon, the girl is thinking it could be time to really determine what their relationship really is, or they both are just waiting for the other to finalize what they are. This generation is confused until there is a “DTR,” (determine the relationship) talk. Until then, everyone involved could be on completely different pages.
Nothing says that hanging out with multiple guys is slutty or desperate yet, when a girl is actually sleeping with random guys the two are treated as the same. Why is that people assume that you can’t just enjoy being with a guy without needing things to go all the way and, if you say they didn’t no one fully believes you? People can even sleep in the same bed and not have sex with each other. Simply wanting to sleep next to someone you care about does not mean that you are sleeping with that person sexually. Knowing the difference between enjoying being around a person and enjoying getting with someone are two completely different actions and should be treated as such.
There is such a stigma that girls can’t date multiple people. Why? College is how you meet new people and discover what you will be doing later on in life. So what if you went on a date with one guy one night and then another guy a different evening? If you're not sleeping with either of them or officially boyfriend/girlfriend it shouldn’t matter. If you are openly dating you don’t have to put up with the pressure to sleep with a guy because they took you to dinner or a party. If you sleep around however, you’re only looking for sex, not to get to know this guy you just met, hooked up with, then went home. No shame at all but, openly dating is completely different from sleeping around so, it is time they were treated so.