The Day I Lost The Love Of My Life

The Day I Lost The Love Of My Life

(kinda serious, but not actually)
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On a Monday morning in late November, I woke up at 6:45 AM already not feeling my best to begin with.

It was the first day back from Thanksgiving break, a Monday (which by itself is awful) and it was WAY too early to be awake. That week I had two exams, two projects, one semi-formal (that I still hadn't found a dress for) and a tax return that was due that day. I had to meet a friend at the library before my first class that morning, preparing for one of the busiest weeks ahead of me. So, like I said, I basically woke up in a bad mood.

Most days, my alarm goes off like 10 times before I slowly decide to wake up. I usually reach for my phone to shut it off and lay there for a few minutes looking at social media or any notifications I have. That Monday morning the first post I came across was about him.

He had been dating this girl for about a year and a half. I'd been lowkey keeping up what he's been doing and how their relationship has been going. It wasn't in an obsessive way, but he'd come across my screen every once in awhile and I'd just do some light stalking. He's had other girls in the past, so it didn't bother me seeing pictures of them or hearing small rumors. But, I had never thought that his newest relationship was so serious...

So, when I saw the post on my Instagram feed, my heart dropped and so did my jaw. ENGAGED. Prince Harry was engaged to Meghan Markle. It was over. My chance had slipped through my fingers and onto her perfectly manicured left hand in the form of a GORGEOUS ring.

All my dreams of joining the royal family and having my own royal wedding was gone. I was devastated. I would never hold a royal title while married to Prince Harry (*SWOON*). He was everything I have ever wanted: strong, handsome (wow), slight rebel, but a kind heart following his mother's footsteps of charity.

No, we've never met. No, he doesn't know who I am. But, those are just minor details that could have been resolved. I was planning a trip to Europe after I graduated this year, but now it's too late.

But in all seriousness, every girl has their celebrity crush and he was mine, not the actual love of my life. (lol I'm not crazy). Meghan Markle is the luckiest girl in the world as far as I'm concerned and I'm actually rooting for them. They are SO cute together and seem to really be happy. Meghan is so talented and beautiful, so I could never hate her for marrying the man of my dreams.

Rumor has it that the wedding will happen this coming Spring and you better believe I'll be up at the crack of dawn to watch the whole entire thing. Harry may be Prince of Wales, but he's not MY Prince Charming. However, I can still mourn the fact that he's out of the running now (*crying*). I'm fine, it's fine.

Cover Image Credit: Hannah Cramer

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Just Because I Check My Boyfriend's Location Every Hour Doesn't Make Me A 'Psycho Girlfriend'

No, checking his location every hour does not make me psycho.
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My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. He has come up with describing my actions sometimes as “psycho girlfriend.” As much as this bothered me at first I started to realize there is nothing wrong with my “psycho” actions.

I don’t monitor who my boyfriend hangs out with and I don’t care who he texts, I trust him, but I do watch other things he does.

I probably check his location about once an hour, maybe more if he isn’t texting me back.

This isn’t some way for me to find out if he is with another girl, it’s so I can ensure he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. If he was on Snapchat five minutes ago but hasn’t texted me back in 45 minutes, yeah I’ll call him out on it but I'm not actually mad. If he is with friends and not answering me, it’s cool. I just want to be able to make sure I know where he is and that he is alive on a regular basis.

I make him keep his read receipts on for me.

I don’t care if he leaves me on read, I just need to know he is seeing what I’m saying. Half the time, I text him random facts or thoughts I have throughout my day, those don’t always need a response back. However, I do want to know he is acknowledging me through reading my texts.

Yes, from time to time I will spam him and make him respond to my messages so we can make plans or I can know what he is doing with his day but it’s not like I plan out his every move for him or care if he is getting drunk with the boys on a Wednesday, not my issue.

I don’t ask for all of his time or anything. I know he is a busy person. All I ask for him to text me back on a regular basis (once an hour to be exact), for him to allow for me to know where he is at all times and to get one night a week with him.

I don’t plan to show up where he is or anything, I simply just like to know information and get a weekly time with him. I don’t care if I only see him that one night a week, I just want one night with a movie or dinner or snuggles so I can get my boyfriend time.

The rest of the time he is his own person, and I couldn’t really care less about what he does in that time.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Wilkowski

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It's Time To Decide If Your "Friends With Benefits" Relationship Is Worth It

Who is really benefitting?
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College is a time to get to know new people – in more ways than one. I've spent my entire freshman year as a shoulder to cry on and the audience to share one's testimonies and revelations.

It seems that the infamous friends with benefits, or "no strings attached" relationship, is more common than the flu and that romantic relationships fall in line with folklore and fairytales. So what does it mean to be friends with benefits?

It's pretty straightforward: two friends who come to a mutual agreement to have all the physical benefits of a romantic relationship while remaining just friends and claiming a single lifestyle. This arrangement is meant to be a sense of sexual release while also having a confidante readily available to you. Sounds like a dream, right?

But is it a good idea for those of us still searching for a piece of ourselves? Who really benefits from a "friends with benefits" ordeal? Each experience varies from person to person, but there are consistent patterns that come from each relationship that can make or break such an arrangement.

There is nothing more important than loving yourself first. Self-discovery and growth are vital to our love and happiness. Sure, we all have our insecurities that can stunt our growth, but that's all a part of the journey. Loving yourself takes time – don't rush into this type of relationship without security and love in yourself, or else you'll be searching for that love in your partner who may not be able to reciprocate such feelings.

The love of your life will rarely ever come from a string of flings. Romantic relationships are a beautiful thing but don't expect to form one from your little arrangement. Either your partner is totally happy in being single and feels no need to get committed or vice versa. Whichever side you're on, it's going to make both of you uncomfortable when the feelings aren't mutual.

This sort of relationship is in muddy waters, too. You're more than friends but not entirely lovers, so no one really knows what can and cannot be said or done. You two explore the most intimate parts of each other's bodies, but outside of the bedroom, they don't claim you. They might even confide in you that they have feelings for someone else. It can really tug at even the most confident of people. Your need for physical pleasure is not as important as your self-confidence and your feelings in the long run.

Another thing to consider is time. These kinds of relationships don't last for very long, and for a specific reason. After a while, someone begins to lose interest in keeping up with the friendship aspect and becomes so consumed in the sexual gratification that they lose all respect and value for the other person.

Friends with benefits are a part of the young adult culture and experiences do vary, but if you do find yourself on the doorsteps of this opportunity, keep a few things in mind:

Have confidence in yourself and love yourself, because if you get into this sort of relationship prematurely, you'll be left feeling ruined.

Don't be afraid to just get up and leave the moment you feel lost in respect for yourself. And if you feel that one of you have begun to develop feelings, feel free to discuss it with one another. If this issue can't be resolved, just leave.

Although this is becoming increasingly popular among the masses, it's not designed for everyone, and it's OK to not get involved in one.

Cover Image Credit: Justin Follis

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