Many are willing to accept the benefits and perks that come with leadership, but few are willing to accept the true cost of being a leader. Are you ready to pay the price?
1. You will never do enough.
A common aphorism is that you can’t please everybody, and this is particularly true in leadership. Someone will always be sure to tell you that your point of view or your actions are not enough or are simply wrong, and this is usually followed by a series of statements telling you how to do your job. This is not to discredit those who are very supportive and who have good advice or input. It is simply important to remember that many will very suddenly speak as experts on leadership when situations don’t end up in their favor. As leaders, we must be conscious of this fact. Much is expected of us, but great work can feel adequate to others when it is all that is produced.
2. You will often be alone.
Leadership can sometimes feel lonely. This is not to say that you are absolutely alone in your struggles (if you are, then you are not practicing good leadership), but not everybody is willing to put in the effort and the long hours and deal with the myriad issues that seem to constantly arise. When the storm hits and the sky falls, very few will be willing to stand firm; sometimes, nobody does. As leaders, we must remember that we work for others rather than for ourselves and that we can’t expect more of others than we do of ourselves. With our backs to the wall, we must simply muddle through the struggle. We have to be willing to work the hardest, even when everyone else has dropped out.
3. Your freedom will be sacrificed.
As leaders, much is expected of us, but what many don’t realize is that much, typically most, of the work comes at a very personal cost. In order to truly practice leadership and to truly make an impact in others’ lives, we have to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good. Free time doesn’t exist; time is sparing, and most of it is consumed by or prioritized for the work, leaving very little time for personal lives with friends and family. Free speech also disappears. As a leader, especially one who represents many individuals, your personal opinion doesn’t matter. You must be able and willing to put yourself aside and speak as a representative rather than as an individual. You will constantly be on call to carry out your role and you will always be expected to do the work, even when others are unwilling.
4. You might lose yourself.
The best leaders put others first, but this can be draining. When leaders are constantly beset by put-downs and surrounded by dissatisfaction, working so hard and for so long feels useless. We begin to lose faith in ourselves and in our work, wondering who we are and why we are here. This is why effective leaders work in teams: with many hands at work, both the effort and the support are more readily available. It is important to remember why we work and what we value most. In times of pain or loss, these things can become easy to forget, making it easy to forget who we are as individuals and as leaders.
5. And your friends, too.
The bond of friendship is a powerful one, but it can be strained by the effort involved in leadership. Great leaders always put others first, which often results in allotting the majority of our time for work rather than for play. Friends and family will feel left out or unappreciated because they are not given as much time as they would like. We don’t spend so little time with friends and family because we don’t care about them but because we prioritize the people that we serve. Leadership is a relationship, and leaders have relationships with more than just their friends.
6. You are always being watched.
The metaphor of the fishbowl is oft-used in leadership education. The theory is that leaders reside in a giant fishbowl, working with only a few individuals but always being observed by others. Every move, every word, is under incredible scrutiny. As leaders, we have to continuously be conscientious about our decisions, our words, our actions, even our facial and bodily expressions, so that we best represent those whom we serve. This is not to say that we misrepresent ourselves, simply that we must sometimes censor ourselves or behave very intentionally so that we serve others as best we can and so that we can maintain credibility and authenticity.
7. You will see more hypocrisy than you can handle.
Leaders are expected to genuinely care about others and to always put others before the self, but many individuals in positions of authority do not practice this self-sacrifice. Many are unwilling to risk comfort or public perception for others’ sakes; in fact, many individuals working in positions of authority often take opportunities to help themselves. It is always difficult to work in a system that is meant to build others up when those in the system seem determined to tear others down. Sometimes we feel powerless to stop the injustice of hypocrisy, but this is what we fight for. Leadership is about serving others—if we do not fight our hardest to fix these broken systems, the people we serve will never see real progress.
8. Not everyone will like you.
It is impossible to reach everybody, and it is inconceivable to be liked and understood by all of those whom we reach. Many people will not take the time to get to know you and your message. Others will default to hostility and actively oppose you, for one reason or another. It is important to understand that there will always be naysayers. We must remain vigilant in our struggles, ever diligent in our work, or none of it will matter.
9. You will doubt yourself.
With all of the mounting pressure, the constant naysayers, and the lack of immediate results, the first thing you will do is begin to doubt yourself. You will feel inadequate and only see the shortcomings in your leadership. You will question who you are as a person and suddenly feel like the only result in all of your efforts will be failure. Don’t forget that if you doubt yourself due to the overwhelming weight, it means that you care. Everything we do as leaders comes with the risk of failure or of simply not being enough, but we know that it is more important to always do our best rather than to simply quit.
10. You will have to make the hard decisions.
Leaders are often faced with what seem like impossible decisions. We are sometimes forced to make decisions that have the potential to help some and hurt others. At other times, there is a single positive outcome in which all benefit, but the outcome comes at the cost of a greater benefit to some and a potential harm to others. These are the lives we lead. Our decisions carry impact because of the positions of power in which others place us. Always remember your values and the needs of the people. Remove yourself from the equation, think only of those you serve, and do your best to create the greatest positive change for all.
