My heart thumps to the beat of the drum; it sings lightly and sweetly.
It follows the rhythm of a faraway song that’s playing in the back of my head. I recognize it instantly; it’s an old time favorite. My body must already be preparing itself. It can sense where we’re going and it’s too excited. The anticipation is killing it. It reminds me of the time I saw Dance Gavin Dance and BlesstheFall. How excited I was that I was finally going to see them when I bought the tickets. How my body curled inward and felt like it was going to explode the day of Warped Tour. How I couldn't stop mentioning to my friends how excited I was, how close to the stage I was, how my heart was curling inwards too and how when the band finally came out, I just exploded outwards. There was no blood, no gore, nothing to prove that my body had turned itself outwards, like a butterfly that has broken off its cocoon. I screamed like I had never had a voice and I finally found it. I jumped like I could fly because I was getting an all time high from the music alone. It was a sensation unlike any I had felt before. I was at the top of life and nothing could bring me down.
It’s something like that. This time too, my body is feeling the wave of excitement that’s coming, a pre-excitement if you may. It’s been this way for awhile now, and my excitement no doubt will only increase as the days go by. There is a month left after all. I can feel it whenever I put my headphones on and play one of his songs. Even through my headphones his voice just courses through my body and makes me explode. It makes my heart melt, like my own heart had broken and now his sweet notes are repairing it. Thinking that I will be able to hear him live gets me giddy, like a kid in a candy shop. A month, that’s all I need. That’s all that’s left till I finally hear him live. Before I can experience real heartbreak. Heartbreak at his beautiful voice. Heartbreak at the end, where it’s finally all over; when they have played for the last time. One final concert. One true ending that will bring me to tears, just like when I first found out they were breaking up.
Gosh I can’t wait.