I was talking with a friend of mine and we were getting super psyched that the hashtags #BlackGirlMagic were gaining popularity on Twitter. In pictures with that hashtag attached, black women posed confidently with smiling, silly and even serious faces. It’s great they are encouraging each other to post these powerful selfies. Empowering how one looks is so important because appearance is the main way people realize difference between people.

We then began wondering if there is some kind of an Asian American aesthetic. (Note: To me, “Asian American” includes, but is not limited to, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Indian, Filipino, Vietnamese, and Pakistani people.)

The basic image I think of when I think about Asian-American women’s appearance is pale skin, thin body, long, jet-black hair, almond-shaped, dark-colored eyes, and graceful posture. But then I realized how far from this description I am. I have tan skin, a little bit of muscle, dark brown hair, and not-so-graceful posture. I, myself, am so far from this image of an Asian-American woman. And I’m sure other Asians also do not fit this descriptor.

But what if we boiled it down to the most basic physical feature that has been commonly associated with Asian people: Yellow skin? Although we are commonly thought of as “yellow,” our skin isn’t really noticeably yellow. What’s interesting is that even before American culture began identifying Asians as the yellow race, Asians have done that. My mom, who was a China citizen, told me that Chinese people (in China) identify with having yellow skin. She said, “There’s even a song [about it]!”

To complicate this aesthetic further, not all Asians identify with this label. In 1968, there was an Asian activist conference held in America in which Filipino people agreed that they identified more with being “brown” than being “yellow.” But like the black race is associated with African Americans, the yellow race is associated with Asians Americans. But even so, “yellow” is an empowering descriptor for everyone.

With all of this in mind, it is highly possible that the way to unite us all will not come down to us identifying with a singular physical aesthetic. The idea of one Asian American aesthetic that can bring us together sounds dreamy, but it will not come to much. What brings us together will probably come down to identifying with certain experiences, such as feeling pressure to go to college or realizing a love for a culture that one once despised. Although I am almost immediately drawn to and comfortable with other Asian Americans, I don’t identify with them soon after just from their appearance. Like the hashtag “#GrowingUpAsian” illustrates, the sharing of and identifying with experiences is what solidifies our bonds.