In today's society, it is extremely difficult to be confident. It feels as if we are always made to feel worse about ourselves through the ads, commercials, expected body types and so on that make comparing ourselves to others a nasty habit that is hard to break. This is something that I used to struggle with, especially growing up where I did and the way I did. Being from the suburbs of Chicago, it wasn't hard to look around and feel as though you weren't enough. You could easily turn your head and think about how you wished you could be that person or have their life. Coming from a big family can make it even harder. It's inevitable to look around and start comparing yourself to the people surrounding you. It was a constant, everyday downer. Once you add the accessible social media apps, it is suddenly a recipe for disaster.
The evil of comparison is what caused me to become depressed. For the longest time, I was trying to puzzle out what was making me so unhappy. Then it hit me. The reason I was so sad and unhappy was because I had wasted so much of my life trying to be like other people, rather than figuring who Danielle was. This realization occurred around 2013, and ever since then, I've made it my life's goal to constantly push myself to be the best person that I can be. I want to wake up every day telling myself that today is another opportunity to find out who I am. And I want everyone else to feel this way too. I don't want people to compare themselves to others, it only creates excess negativity that we do not need in our lives.
Obviously, this is easier said than done. This wasn't an easy process for me, as I'd imagine it wouldn't be for anyone. Comparison is a disease that's plaguing our society, and more people need to be encouraged to find who they are, instead of emulating the people around them. As I always say, when you know better, you do better. With (a little) age (hopefully) comes wisdom, so I think I'm in a position to share the following advice.
Comparing yourself to others is useless. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, richer, etc. There will always be someone who has accomplished more than you or accomplished something that you wish you could do. That's their life path, not yours. There's no sense in being saddened by someone else's success. Whatever is meant for you will only be for you.
You will only become more and more unhappy. When you put so much time and energy into worrying about someone else, you're robbing yourself of happiness. You need to focus on finding out who you are and learning how to love that person. The more time spent on worrying about what others are doing is less time you have for you.
There is only one you in this world. God has given each of us a purpose and he has created us all to be different from one another for a reason. There will never be another you and there is no way you can be another person. Learn how to accept yourself exactly the way you are, and from there you will find peace.
Make a conscious effort every day to celebrate being you. Wake up thankful for your uniqueness. It's so easy to look at all the things or qualities we don't possess rather than being thankful for what we already have. The more you start appreciating the person you are, the more confident you will be. Once you gain that confidence, you'll be able to conquer anything.
Stop being a hater and learn how to be happy for other people. No one likes a hater. Once you have a newfound confidence, you won't have the time to compare yourself to anyone else, because you too will be celebrating their accomplishments. I don't know about you, but I want everyone in my family and friend group to do well and reach above and beyond their potential.
Comparing yourself to others is self-destructive. Over time, by comparing yourself to others, you will become self-conscious, and oftentimes, depressed. Be yourself. There's only one you. Don't compromise that and try to become someone you aren't. After all, as Theodore Roosevelt once said, "comparison is the thief of joy."
