So this week, being the full-fledged basic girl that I am, I went and saw the new movie "The Choice." Yes, girls across America (also, rowboat enthusiasts) rejoice because Nicholas Sparks has graced our blue and green planet with yet another rowboat heavy romance.

(Just in case y'all thought I was lying about the whole boat thing. Seriously man...let it go.)

Anyway, let's get to the actual movie.

The story features Travis, the charming, cocky, and fear-loving southern boy played by Benjamin Walker.

~dreamy~

And, Gabby, the classic Nicholas Sparks woman: hard-to-get (for approximately 5 seconds), sassy, and hard working. It should also be noted here that she drove me absolutely nuts, but that's just me.

Basically, Gabby finds Travis obnoxious. They use arguing as a strange kind of foreplay, which establishes the incredibly annoying tagline of the movie "come bother me, baby" (NO THANK YOU). But all this arguing and playing hard to get, gets old after a while though (I mean, who could resist that arrogant dream boat? Not anyone in a Nick Sparks movie that's for sure!) so despite Gabby having a boyfriend, her and Travis proceed to bang and basically date for a month while the boyfriend is out of town.

In the middle of all this love making, Gabby delivers my favorite line of the entire movie when she explains Travis's tough exterior by saying, "A man with one chair likes to sit alone." #Relatable.

All seems to be going as predicted until Gabby's boyfriend returns after his obscenely long work conference. It looks as though Gabby may actually be going back to him and tossing our beloved Travis off to the side. In an attempt to win her back, Travis delivers the key line of "come bother me" this time with an added invitation to do so for the rest of her life (inviting!!!!). But not before he gets incredibly angry, saying something along the lines of:

"So, what, you think it's OK to just screw with the poor Southern boy but when rich boy comes back you come running right back to him."

This makes no sense seeing as Travis literally owns a house on the water, a nice boat, and works as the town veterinarian. The only thing that would make him even slightly identify as a "poor Southern boy" is that fake accent he rocked the whole movie and his old beat up pickup truck (another Nick Sparks classic). Seriously though, come on Travis, just cause you choose to drive an old jalopy does not make you "poor." Good effort though. Points for dramatic effect.

Anyway, after Travis's dramatic proposal, Gabby says no. Rough stuff. There's this weird hullabaloo in the middle where Gabby and Travis both kind of get back with their exes until Monica (Travis's ex) gets all misty and says he "never looks at her the way he looks at Gabby" and that he has to fight to get her back. Monica's closing argument is "Gabby looks at you that way too."

My thoughts on that are: who in the heck even are you, Monica? And why do you keep staring at everyone?! Maybe that's way you're irrelevant in this movie cause you just keep looking at the way everyone else is looking at each other. Very odd, Monica, very odd.

This odd argument, however, seemed to be enough convincing for our boy Travis and he immediately starts running around trying to find Gabby. He ends up finding her at her rich parents house, makes a big scene and proposes again. Despite Gabby literally screaming that she doesn't love him the entire time, her parents happily help this complete stranger propose to their daughter, even giving him the family ring to give her. Yes, nothing says good parenting like helping a long, asparagus-looking man you've never met, start a life with your vehemently protesting daughter.

After much persuading, Gabby agrees to marry him, and in the span of five minutes they are suddenly married with two children. It seems to be coming to a close, but is it really a Nicholas Sparks movie if someone isn't on the brink of death? Seriously, this man loves to kill off (or at least seriously injure) his main characters. Nicholas Sparks or James Patterson? The world may never know.

Well, Gabby gets hit by a car and ends up in a coma. After remaining non-responsive for over 90 days, there is much debate of whether to pull the plug. (It should be noted that I cried here. I didn't want to, but my tears ran amuck and I couldn't stop myself.) Around this time, Travis decides to build an odd gazebo kind of thing with a seashell wind chime in the center to ease the process of grieving. Makes sense.

Once the gazebo is done, he sits on the beach and listens to his wind chimes. Ah, soothing. But suddenly, the shells start a-clacking and he knows Gabby is awake. (Despite being in a coma for, like, three months.) As he rushes to the hospital, his phone shows he has 15 missed calls, likely confirming her consciousness. But who needs a cellphone when you have a shell in the breeze?!

He arrives to the hospital, she's awake, much kissing ensues, and the lifetime of bothering continues. Huzzah.

So, should you make "the choice" to see "The Choice"? That's really up to you, but I'd say if you like sheer ridiculousness, sea shell wind chimes, and, of course, rowboats, this movie is a definite win.