We have all been there at least once. We've all had that boy that we didn't date, but they were...something. They meant more to us than just having fun, but they never made it to the family dinner stage. I see these types of relationships happening more and more in our generation. One of my best friends likes to call them the "boyfriends-not-boyfriends" and this couldn't be more accurate.

The worst part about these somethings though is there's no rule book. When you're in a relationship you know the do's and don't's, you know what you can get mad about, you know you can blow up their phones if they don't reply because hey that's what girlfriends do. However, what about when they're not your boyfriend? What can you do or say to them? What can you get mad at them about, and what's crossing a line? Can you tell your friends about them, your parents? Are we even supposed to talk about it?

My advice when it comes to these boys is to cherish all the fun times you can get but stay as far away from them as possible at the same time. This sounds confusing and I guess that's because it is. I'll start off by explaining the first part. When it comes to having a something, it can be fun. There's no pressure of a title, no looming fear of getting too serious or when should I say I love you or invite him home or whatever, it's just fun. You can have movie nights, go out and get food, go on random drives, dance around, and just have fun. In this sense, these boys can be more like just really cool friends. The thing is, that this stage, unfortunately, can't last forever.

Inevitably someone will start to catch the hard core feelings. Someone will start to want that title, that seriousness, that meeting the family, and talking about your future. If that person happens to be you, my only advice is to run. Not because no guy can be trusted, this isn't an article about how all guys are assholes, some are, but in actuality, most aren't. Even the somethings, most don't have bad intentions. Yet, even with the best intentions, they'll still hurt you if you get too attached. As girls we know the difference between a guy that likes us and a guy who's just looking for a good time. If a guy really liked you, you would never be stuck in the middle of having to call him a something, because the second you felt it was appropriate to be more, he would have already asked. That's my rule of thumb, if it's gotten to a point where you feel comfortable enough with him to make it official and he still has excuses, he's always going to have excuses.

These are the boys that "just don't want a relationship this young" or "are still getting over their last relationship" or "just aren't ready mentally to be with anyone." These are your warning signs, don't ignore them. Even when they say they're catching feelings for you, or even when they say they miss you after not being able to see you for awhile, even when they promise you they're gonna make you their girlfriend one day, if they used any of this excuses, the harsh truth is those things probably are not true. They may not all be lies, but they are all foreshadowing the unavoidable end to whatever you guys have. If a guy wants to be with a girl, he will be, no excuses, no matter what. He might actually like you, he probably does, he probably really doesn't know if he's ready for a relationship, but he probably wouldn't be risking the chance of losing you if he was the one.

There's a quote from one of my favorite television shows that go, "All guys lie, the bad ones lie to get into your bed, and the good ones lie to get into your heart." These are the good guys, but that doesn't mean they aren't lying.

Don't get mad at these boys, they don't know any better. Boys hate being alone just as much as girls do, they found you to fill that hole for awhile, just like you did with them, they just don't want to admit that, and you probably don't either. Don't hold any bitterness or resentment towards them when it ends, cause you could be messing up a shot at having a really great friend. That's not to say it won't hurt seeing them move on right after they told you they just didn't want a relationship right now, however maybe it'll help you understand. Remember there is nothing about that girl that is "better" than you, she's simply different than you, the different that he wanted, and the guy you end up with will inevitably be different than him, and that will be what you want.

So here's to all of my ex-somethings. Thank you. Thank you for making me feel wanted when I needed to feel that the most. Thank you for helping me not feel alone. Thank you for listening to me vent, and making me laugh when I needed to laugh. Thank you for showing me your music, and telling me about your family. Thank you for letting me into what little part of your life that you did. I'm glad I get to call you a friend. But more than anything, thank you for showing me what I want, and what I deserve, and thank you for showing me it wasn't you.