What's the purest form of American entertainment?

Is it baseball, or football, or cultural appropriation?

The correct answer: none of the above!

When I think of American entertainment, reality TV is the first thing that comes to mind. Without a doubt, the best part of reality TV are the fights. Nothing quite gets your blood pumping like a good altercation, whether the scrum is verbal or physical.

What else do Americans love? Mortal Kombat!

The video game franchise has generated at least $5 billion in revenue, making it one of the highest-grossing media franchises ever.

By now, you're asking: If America loves Mortal Kombat and reality TV show fights, why doesn't someone combine the two?

No worries! That's what I'm here for.

I picked my 5 favorite provocateurs from popular reality TV franchises and gave them all fighting profiles, complete with breakdowns of their best physical traits. Each character also gets a finishing move.

Meghan James

Meghan has hands. Plain and simple. Her fight record on the show is like 21-0-1 with 15 KO's. Her willingness to throw down anywhere makes her a formidable opponent. She is relatively agile, moving her feet well to avoid catching any big blows. Meghan also shows an ability to adjust mid-fight. During her fight with Ashley, Meghan comes in pretty close on Ashley and receives a nasty kick to the midsection for her troubles. Meghan responds by grabbing Ashley's legs, taking them out of the equation. Physically gifted fighters are tough to stop, but smart ones? Good luck!

Finishing Move: Cranberry Catapault

This move pours ice cold cranberry juice on the opponent, temporarily freezing the bottom half of their body. After the freezing part, Meghan puts the opponent to sleep with an array of hands so ferocious, she knocks the top half of their body off.

Teresa Giudice

Teresa will ruin your dinner and laugh about it. Don't ever tell her to pay attention, or you'll end up like Danielle, dazed and confused. She also doesn't mind engaging in mental warfare, considering she doesn't mind talking a little trash or screaming in your face. Teresa's also battle-tested, considering she went to prison and made it out with not a single scratch on her. Expect a prison-style brawl if you try to tussle with this ex-con.

Finishing Move: Table Toss(with Banshee Bellow)

This finishing move starts with Teresa uttering a blood-curdling scream, followed by the fiery New Jersey housewife taking a fully finished table, complete with food and drink, and flipping it over on the opposing fighter, crushing them.

Nicole 'Snooki' LaValle

Don't let the lack of size fool you. This gal will give you the business. Determination drives her every movement. Snooki doesn't fight, she attacks. She also uses her low center of gravity to her advantage, making her hard to take down. While that low center of gravity makes her hard to take down, she uses it to take other people down with no issues. On occasion, Snooki uses a 'flying squirrel' maneuver, catching her opponent by surprise. You never know what you're going to get from this diminutive damsel.

Finishing Move: Fist Pump

Like a true Guidette, this woman ends her opponents by fist pumping, sending sonic shockwaves at the other fighter that render them paralyzed.

Aviva Drescher

She might be Fran Drescher's cousin, but you won't be laughing if you mess with this Manhattan native. What she lacks in quickness and agility, she makes up in intelligence and anticipation. With a Master's from NYU, she clearly has the brain power to formulate an effective plan of attack. Standing 5'10", Drescher also has excellent reach, allowing her to strike her opponents from a distance. Aviva also makes no secret of her confrontational nature, showcasing it seemingly whenever she gets a chance. Remember: The only thing fake about her is her leg!

Finishing Plan: Prosthetic Leg Reverse

Aviva's leg comes off, and so does her opponent's head. She flings the prosthetic leg at her opponent's cranium, and the leg comes back to her like a boomerang.

Unlockable Character

Chris 'CT' Tamburello

CT is a straight up monster. Simply put, he was too big and strong for me to make him a regular character, so I made him an unlockable character. Anybody that can put a fully grown man on his back like a common school bag is one to be avoided. Without a doubt, CT would be the character whose use would be outlawed among friend groups. He once told another cast member that he would "smash his head and eat it. "

Finishing Move: Skull Smash

Remember that "smash his head and eat it" thing I just mentioned? Picture that. That's how this Bostonian beast finishes off his foes.