I've been through quite a lot when it comes to anxiety, the worst of it hitting not that long ago. But from everything that I've learned in the past 18 years, my perspective on anxiety has changed completely. Even though I'm still young and I have much more growing and learning to do, I found a few things that'll maybe help shed some light on the topic of anxiety. Here are the three things I've learned while suffering from anxiety.
It's okay to not be okay.
Almost everyone can agree with me when I say that "not being okay" has made us feel vulnerable. For myself, I believed I was supposed to live up to everyone else's expectations, which meant there was no time for not feeling myself. That took me down a lonely path I never want to revisit. Even though it took me a while to realize it, I eventually understood how dangerous it was to continue fighting on my own. I realized that I wasn't alone in this world and that everyone else has demons they fight too. It was hard to admit that I needed help, but once I did, I got to breathe a sigh of relief for the first time in years. You and I are not required to feel 100% each and every day, and you know why? Because it's okay to not be okay.
Anxiety is NOT a weakness.
Literally, every single human being on the face of the Earth can 100% say that they have experienced anxiety either to its full extent, or at least close to it. Throughout my 18 years of life, every friend that I've made, or every family member I've talked to, all had something to say about anxiety. Out of all those people I've talked to, more than half of them have told me they felt their anxiety made them weak.
I'm not going to lie, I used to believe the same thing. There were moments when I felt helpless because my anxiety was holding me back from doing the things that I loved. But, if you take the time to think about it, the only reason why I can write this article with confidence, or why you can go back to school or work tomorrow and forget about what happened the day before, is because we unknowingly chose to grow from the anxiety that plagued us in the past. Anxiety will continue to be something we all will face for the rest of our lives. We can't outrun it and we certainly can't get rid of. So, instead of believing that anxiety is a weakness, make it clear to yourself and to everyone around you that it's actually a strength.
Never expect your friends and family to understand your own anxiety.
I really became aware of this actually at the beginning of 2019, when an old friend and I got into an argument. We literally fought over anxiety. I claimed that she never took my anxiety seriously and then ended the argument by calling her a horrible friend. I'll admit this now, I completely and truly regret saying all of that. Before I understood just how awesome she really was, I made her feel responsible for all the pain that I was feeling. Not only did that hurt her, but it hurt me too.
Everyone deals with anxiety differently, some having it worse than others. So, the only thing we all might understand is how hard it can actually be. However, each emotion I feel and each thought that threatens to damage my mind, is so different from the next person's emotions and thoughts, that It's actually impossible to comprehend how anxiety works for someone else. I looked foolish when blaming everything on my friend because she has no responsibility for my anxiety. She even stated how different anxiety is for everybody. My point is, although sharing your feelings with them can be a good stress reliever and can ultimately make us feel stronger, the only person who is truly responsible for your feelings, is you.
