“I've hit rock bottom.” That is the closest thing I could get to, in terms of describing how I was feeling. I never truly knew the depth of these words until I experienced it myself.

This isn't an article, throwing a pity party, or venting about my feelings, but rather for those out there who need to know they aren't alone. I’ve experienced pain and heartache, but not long lasting like this. I wish I could have stumbled across something that expressed exactly how I was feeling, so this is for you.

The pain you feel when you become broken, is indescribable. I would never wish that feeling upon anyone. I thought I had overcome many obstacles in my past, and experienced a lot of pain, but this time was different. This one knocked me on my feet.

We all go through difficult times, periods, or weeks where we "aren't okay." We have days where we are okay and days where we aren't. There are random spurts of being okay, and not being okay. You simply have moments where you just break down, and there is no way you can pull it together. This was different, though, it was a constant stinging pain for months, where I cried at least once every single day.

The first thing you are probably thinking of is that this isn't normal... Yep, it's not.

I was a girl who naturally smiled from ear to ear, who was always intrinsically motivated, who always tried my best to give it my all in everything I did. I've always cared more for others than myself, and I've always given everything my all. When I went to the gym, I left drenched in sweat. When I stressed about a test, I would go over the information constantly until I "had it." When I liked someone, I liked them with every cell in my body. When I fell for a guy, I fell head over heels for them. And when I got hurt, I was on the floor, struggling to pick myself up.

Needless to say, just when I felt like everything was in place for my future was when I hit rock bottom. I truly thought I met the person that I was supposed to be with. Now, everything just feels like a daze. Sometimes, we feel like everything is just falling into place, and then the rug gets pulled out from underneath of us. Sometimes we have a future planned for ourselves, it feels right, but then things don't work out.

You feel like you are just a shell, the shell of the person that you used to be. It is not something that is easy to explain. You go from counting down the hours of the day, instead of feeling like there simply are not enough. You pull it together, put on a smile, and act like everything is okay when in reality you can't wait to say that you made it through another day.

I went from being a social butterfly, to a hermit crab, feeling so isolated, not wanting to talk to anyone. I looked forward to the moment where you can finally plop your head on your pillow, and cry it out, for as long as you need to, while putting "A Little Bit Stronger," by Sara Evans on repeat.

Even at my worst a few months ago, I slowly began to realize the beauty of being broken. No matter how much pain I was experiencing, I knew that this would only lead me down the path in which God has planned for me. I realized more about myself than I ever knew. Maybe I had to be broken before I open up my next chapter of my life?

I’ve realized that even during my hardest semester of my undergraduate career, I was still able to get by with the help of God’s strength, friends, and family. I realized that this semester was not all about school or grades, but I realized my tolerance. I realized how much I was capable of. I realized who mattered and what mattered most in my life, throughout several months of heartache, and feeling so exhausted.

I’ve realized things about myself that I am proud of, and things that I needed to change. It was a phase of building myself back up again, grabbing pieces of the person I wanted to become, and pitching pieces that needed to be left behind.

I’ve realized how much stronger my faith became, and I turned to God more than I ever have. I saw the people he kept in my life, and the new people he brought into my life. I saw him working in my life so much, and I just put my trust in him.

I’ve realized that I am happy with who I am, and I feel like I am right where I need to be.

I’ve realized that someday, I will look back and realize why I had to experience the pain that I did. I think it has placed me on the path that I need to travel on.

I’ve realized, that maybe I had to be broken. Maybe I had to be broken down into a million pieces so that GOD could build me back up. And just maybe, I had to lose myself, and find myself again... The real me.