The Beach: As Told by A Ginger
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The Beach: As Told by A Ginger

Walks outside for five minutes, ends up with sun poisoning

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The Beach: As Told by A Ginger
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Winter is on its way out, though it arguably never truly came (#globalwarming), meaning its time to trade in that boring black parka and snow scraper for a Yeti Cooler and sun tan lotion. For those who have ventured to Florida or Gulf Shores the possibilities of some fun in the sun are endless. With sun kissed skin, blue skies, and warm waters calling kids everywhere, its no wonder the beach is such a popular destination for college kids on break. While the beach is without a doubt the place to be, the fountain of youth, the epitome of joy and peace, there is a unique group of individuals who by pre determined genetic makeup, have a love/hate relationship with beaches, and warm destination in general: gingers.

Here is The Beach as seen from the prospective of a truly ivory colored, vitamin C lacking, redhead

The initial fantasy expectations of frolicking in barely nothing across the warm sand, each redhead holds before making the dangerous journey to an expenses paid vacation in Skin Cancer nation.


The actual reality you'll be facing



How prepared we are for the evil UV Rays which devour our skin



Learning its an overcast day, so you won't have to be 50 percent copper tone sunscreen.



That moment when you start to fall prey to the allure of the sun.. and the forbidden fruit to vampire level pale people: tanning.




The denial and fear that creep into your mind as you see the initial pink color of freshly burned flesh cover what was once your skin.



That walk of pain and misery to the dreaded first shower after a horrible sunburn.



The sweet relief of Aloe as it coats your entire body. Its like music to your ears. Your blistering ears.




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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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