We all have relatives that make us feel good about ourselves. Thanksgiving is a holiday based on gratitude. My dad's cousins are quite hard to accept. Over the years it has become apparent that these cousins are actually crazy. The only way I can justify sharing all these crazy stories is because I feel normal in comparison to them. My aunt has always held Thanksgiving at her house and felt it was important to invite her cousins since their son expressed it met a lot to be invited. They are just my first cousin once removed and I like to think I am not directly related. Here are just some experiences that have made my Thanksgivings interesting.
Cousins.....
- Driving by my aunt's house over and over again. When my aunt called them they claimed they were a few minutes away.
- Walking around the whole house and looking in all the windows before they rang the doorbell to come in.
- Knocking on neighbors doors to ask for extra bedsheets that could be used as sails for the pilgrims back to England.
- Knocking on neighbors doors to ask what kind of trees they had in their yard.
- Collecting leaves from neighbors yards.
- Sharing with us an easy way to get across a busy street is to roll a baby carriage into oncoming traffic.
- Bringing stuff from the dump to give us as presents.
- Giving me an old National Geographic magazine with a shirtless firefighter on the cover and then talking to me about porn. The best part is I was only 10 years old.
- Using gum as a wine glass marker.
- Insulting everyone at the dining room table.
- Talking about murdering each other.
- Peering into my car windows.
- Bringing a folding chair and a giant stuffed dog. Then setting up the folding chair on my aunt's front lawn for the dog to sit on.
- Trying to smoke inside the house.
- Bringing their electric bill to show us how they don't use a lot of electricity.
So thankful I only see them once a year!
