If you type “booty call” into a quick Google search, you will be rewarded with a definition very quickly. To save you some time, Google decided its favorite definition is:
“a sexual invitation or rendezvous.”
I’m serious, this isn’t Urban Dictionary. Go ahead, check. Tell me I’m wrong.
Anyway, this article isn’t going to explain to you what the hell a “booty call” is, we’re adults. We know. And if you don’t, well, at this point, I’m going to save you the trouble and tell you it’s not worth knowing and there are better articles out there for you.
If you’re like me, a college student in their early twenties trying to survive the rigor of your university while balancing a very active social life, you’ve received one of those eloquent post 1 am “you up?” texts. Or, if they’re the true renaissance man (or woman or other), they’ll Snapchat you, text you, and FaceTime audio you -- all within a 5-minute span.
I’m here to tell you that booty calls are amazing and everyone should at least dip their toes into the amazing pool of spontaneous hookups at least once in their college career. But... There is a correct way to go about this. The art of the Booty Call is truly an art form. That’s right, now it gets a capital B and capital C because this is official.
Step 1:
Determine a desired person for the said booty call. This could be before the night has begun, this could be a week in advance, or this could be in the heat of a spicy Tinder conversation just seconds before. Regardless, lock down on one person. Back-ups are all well and good, but save your energy for the one person you really want to see that night.
Step 2:
DO NOT Booty Call before midnight. Do. Not. Do. It. That's, as we say, thirsty af. I mean, come on. This is just common sense. 1 am or later constitutes a true booty call. The night is young enough but after everyone is done having the best night ever with their friends, or whatever.
Step 3:
HAVE A PLAN! Absolutely don't send the “idk, what do youuu wanna do” messages. You have initiated this Booty Call and you must take responsibility for the when, the where, and all of the other intimate details. If they decide to take charge, let them. Whatever works, as long as no one is indecisive.
Step 4:
After a time and place have been determined, follow through! Do NOT, I repeat with the utmost seriousness, fall asleep on a Booty Call. It’s just not proper etiquette. If you know ahead of time that you’re starting to feel tired, cancel the Booty Call! Cancel and reschedule or make a plan to try again another night.
Step 5:
No regrets. None. You know what you’ve done, and you live with it and love yourself because guess what? It’s college. It doesn’t matter. And regrets are lame.
