It’s the advice we’ve been given countless times by countless people. In fact, if we had a dollar for every time someone told us “just let him go,” we would likely be able to pay at least a full year’s tuition. The problem is, while the concept of “letting go” may seem simple, it is actually incredibly difficult to carry out.
We’ve all been there. That last fight. When heated emotions bubble up and spill over.
It almost doesn’t feel like it’s you. You hear the panicked screams, but you don’t connect them to the ache in your throat. You feel the wetness on your face, but you don’t process the tears. And when it’s over, the feeling you are left with doesn’t quite add up. Because you feel like something has been taken from you. A small piece of yourself. You are less than what you used to be. But for some reason, you still feel heavier. The air has weight. You feel like you are being crushed beneath all the things you can’t change. And then, you feel nothing at all.
But eventually, inevitably, the mind begins scratching itself raw. There are so many questions and not nearly enough answers in the world. You need a concrete reason for why this has happened to you. But the truth is, most of the time there isn’t one.
It’s the oldest cliché in the book, but believe me when I say: Things happen for a reason.
It feels like the end of the world. But it’s not. Maybe it’s the end of the page, or even the end of a chapter, but it’s not the end of the book you are writing just by living your life. We all know how books work. Ups and downs are inevitable. But everything that happens is necessary to reach that perfect conclusion. How different would our favorite books be if the protagonists gave up when things got hard? Keep living. Reach the conclusion you deserve. Make your life a story worth reading.
Keep looking forward.
Clinging to the past is so natural to us. We use it as a point of reference, or something to comfort us when the future starts becoming more and more uncertain. And of course it’s important not to forget the past. You are who you are because of what has happened to you in your life up to this point. However, it is also imperative that you don’t let your memory of the past taint your future. Don’t let one (or a few) failures in love impact your desire to satisfy your romantic curiosity. Don’t assume that every boy with pretty eyes and a nice smile is a heartbreak waiting to happen. Only in this random, stupid, incredible world of ours could we meet our future husband in a cramped elevator, or a cheap bar, or a sweaty frat basement. But you can’t even hope to reach the future destination you are intended to reach if you are too busy dwelling on the shortcomings of the past. So do yourself a favor; don’t dwell. Think of each day as a clean slate. Keep looking forward to that perfect conclusion.
And in regards to that missing piece I mentioned earlier: you were whole before you met him. You are still whole now that he’s gone. Fill yourself with the things that matter to you. Pick up old passions. This is your opportunity to focus wholeheartedly on you. You will soon realize that piece you thought he took from you was never actually lost. It has just been reimagined.
And once you let go, it’s true, you might never be exactly who you were before -- and that’s a little scary. But it’s also exciting, because I promise, you will be better.
