The Art Of Ghosting
Start writing a post
Relationships

The Art Of Ghosting

As told by someone who has ghosted

240
The Art Of Ghosting
Tyler Shields

Ghosting: the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone, including physical and social media interactions, oftentimes to the degree of blocking them (on your phone, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, etc.).

Typically, ghosting is referred to in a romantic relationship. Take this scenario: A couple has been on a few dates, hung out a couple of times, and then, one day, with no warning or reason, one party decides that they’re done with the relationship, so they “ghost.”

It’s a term, of course, coined by millennials, a fascinating generation, to say the least. Millennials have been raised online; we’re often characterized by laziness, narcissism, and, when it comes to relationships, an unprecedented defiance to monogamy. We’re superfluously vain and tech-obsessed over-sharers, and our love is distinct from how we’ve been taught to love. “Netflix and chill” and “talking” have become so powerfully romanticized that our relationships are depicted through blurred lines and vague texts that embody the confusion of our hookup culture.

Thus, ghosting exists, because if you're not really with someone, if you simply hook up with them and occasionally go out to eat or hang out in a group of friends with them, but you're not exclusively dating, you have the option to ghost. Poof. Just like that.

It could be done in sound reason, or semi-valid reason, or it could be totally illogical. Maybe you've found someone else that wants more in a relationship, or less. Maybe your fear of commitment propels you to cut people off the moment that things begin to look serious. Maybe you're just bored.

Ghosting, though only recently defined as something beyond having anything to do with the afterlife, has existed for a while. Our mothers and even our grandmothers were ghosted when they sat staring at a dial phone that they shared with their whole family in their living room, waiting for a call that never came. When they went out the next weekend and saw Tommy or Bobby with their arms around Margaret or Peggy-Ann, they knew that they had been ghosted for girls with horrible names and shorter doo wop skirts.

What's worse about being ghosted back then, though, is that communication was strictly limited to a landline. Our grandmothers, inspired by Bridget Bardot and The Beatles, never had iPhones. They couldn't constantly keep up with someone on various social media platforms like we can today. They didn't have to go through being left on "read" receipts and knowing that their perfect-lighting, perfectly angled Snapchat selfie was opened without a response. They weren't subtweeted, and they weren't left to define if their love life was categorized as "It's Complicated" or "In a Relationship" on Facebook. So when they were ghosted, it was less of a drawback, and less of a psychological mind f*ck of "What the hell did I do wrong?" and "Do I even/Should I even care?"

I, admittedly, have ghosted people, never a boy, but I have left former friends in the dark. Friend ghosting is a weirder concept, but the purpose is the same: an out-of-nowhere, unspoken goodbye.

Ghosting is childish, I know. It's a cop-out. We live and succumb to technology but sometimes we don't even give people the decency of a last text. In defense of ghosting, though, sometimes people don't deserve a last text-because sometimes people don't deserve a goodbye. That would be a courtesy, and, be it a friend or a boyfriend or a kind-of-boyfriend or a relationship that never was, you do not owe the people that treat you wrong that courtesy, or even an explanation.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Pop Culture Needs More Plus Size Protagonists

When almost 70% of American women are a size 14 or bigger, movies like Dumplin' are ridiculously important, while movies like I Feel Pretty just feel ridiculous.

696
Dumplin'

For as long as I can remember, I've been fat. The protagonists in the movies I've watched and the books I've read, however, have not been. . .

Keep Reading... Show less
How I Met My Best Friends In College

Quarantine inspired me to write about my freshman year to keep it positive and focus on all the good things I was able to experience this year! In this article, I will be talking about how I was able to make such amazing friends by simply putting myself out there and trying new things.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

29 Things To Do in Myrtle Beach, SC Regardless Of The Weather

Both indoors and outdoors things to do in beautiful Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

5788
29 Things To Do in Myrtle Beach, SC Regardless Of The Weather
Dahlia DeHaan

In 2017, I moved to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina - one of the most touristy places on the East Coast. And ever since then, I've befriended locals and done some exploring on my own to discover new, fun things to do in Myrtle Beach. Here are just a few of my favorites.

Keep Reading... Show less
Sports

The Birthplace of Basketball

The NBA Playoffs are here. It’s kind of funny that my history kind of started out in the same place that basketball’s did too.

6829
quotefancy.com

Basketball was originally created by James Naismith, a Presbyterian minister who taught P.E. at YMCA in Springfield, Massachusetts. He invented the new game to keep the young men occupied inside during the winter. Borrowing ideas from rugby and a game he used to play as a boy, “duck on the rock”, he thought of nailing up boxes to throw a ball into. He couldn’t find boxes so he used peach baskets instead. The rest of the rules he made up in about an hour.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

I Met You At The Wrong Time

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

5647
Tumblr

I met you when I was in middle school and I thought boys still had cooties. I wore flared jeans, Aeropostale shirts, and had the dorkiest braces ever. I cared about what other people thought of me, and I definitely cared a lot about what you thought, too. You were older, and your friends made fun of me when I talked to you. I pretended it didn’t bother me, but it did. I sat two rows in front of you in class, and constantly tried to think of reasons to talk to you. Your hair was a curly mess. It still is. You graduated from middle school a year before me, and I missed you. I don’t think you even knew my name.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments