With any exciting news, I want to jump up and down squealing with friends who are just as ecstatic as me. My mouth wants to move rapidly as I spew details and more unnecessary shrieks of delight. I greatly appreciate my friends who rejoice with me over sometimes seemingly trifle victories. The genuine happiness for my good fortune validates my giddiness and makes me feel important, valued, and worthy of being celebrated.
I desperately want to be the friend who can easily celebrate others, but, honestly, it's a hard task.
I find it hard to be happy for friends when I am insecure or hurting. My mindset becomes immediately selfish and detests that the attention is on someone else. I feel like my problems deserve more attention than the grand news someone just announced. Constant thoughts of comparison bubble up and all I can think is how horrible my life is compared to someone else. Posts on social media make me more bitter towards the person who shared a picture from an exciting adventure or a candid shot with other friends that aren't me. I hate that in these moments I can't be happy for the people I care most deeply about.
It's when I am secure in myself that I am able to rejoice with friends more easily. When I am confident, content, and positive about the situations around me, I can better shriek with genuine delight for a friend's exciting news. Comparison no longer lingers because I am, instead, assured in the person I am and the life I uniquely live. And I can honor the other unique lives of my friends, knowing that their situation will never look exactly like mine. Scrolling through Instagram becomes less of a competition in which I am always the loser, and instead becomes more of a celebration of those on my feed.
It's easier to celebrate others, when you're already celebrating yourself.
Maybe it takes a little introspective digging, heart examining, and confidence building for one to finally be able to champion others. For a selfless heart, maybe the process requires time of selfish reflection - time to pour into, validate, and assure oneself of who and how they were made to be. Maybe the cure for broken friendships is rejoicing in the beautiful flaws and imperfect experiences of each individual - including oneself.
It's okay to be happy for yourself. Allow yourself to rejoice in the things you may be insecure about. Be satisfied with your life and don't wish for someone else's.
Because when you can finally delight in yourself, you can then delight in others.
