Every six months, I get a call reminding me of the appointment I set at my last dentist appointment. And every six months I dread having people stare into my mouth for an hour.

First, you contemplate a few important things like: why did I schedule for 9 am? Should I really have been flossing all this time? When was the last time I wore my retainer?

Next, the dental hygienist starts trying to make small talk to relate to you. But he/she always just ends up sounding creepy and weird. And how are you supposed to respond anyway? There's a mirror and straw and scary pointy tool in your mouth.

The dentist comes in and tells you to stick out your tongue, and all you can think is:

They start explaining everything you should be doing at home to be taking care of your teeth, but all you hear is:

They give you new toothpaste and toothbrushes and floss, and it's just all too strange.

But then you see yourself in the mirror on the way out, and your teeth sure do look good...

So why not indulge a little? You haven't eaten in an hour at least. It's time for snacks.