We’ve all had those nights where we feel that sleep is just out of the question. Whatever is happening right in front of you is simply too interesting and you can’t bear to be the one nudging people to go to bed. If you’ve ever been in this situation you’re well aware that as people get sleepier and sleepier, some distinct stages of behavior become apparent.
Stage 1: Settling In
At first, you’re a little tired from the day, whether you had classes, friend gatherings, important interviews, sports practice, or a hundred other possible activities. Most normal people might be getting ready for bed at this point, but not freshmen in college. The beauty of living in the dorms is that it’s just so easy to spend time together, so you inevitably gather in someone’s room and settle in for what might seem like an easy chat, maybe a few youtube videos. At this point you know in the back of your mind that this will not be the low key night the part of you that enjoys getting breakfast at 7:30am longs for. But it’s ok because right now you’re flying high on the fuzzy feelings of friendship.
Stage 2: Getting Serious
As the night goes on, you begin to get into some stranger topics. A few hours and sips of Martinelli’s apple cider later, you’re discussing everything from the awful country music you still like for some inexplicable reason to why they really need to teach more quantum mechanics to high schoolers. At a certain point, the conversation dips a bit. People start speaking in lower tones. A few brave souls might even try to get some homework done. Eventually, the energy level rises again, as does the volume.
Stage 3: Confessions and Life Advice
This is about the point in the night when the truth begins to seep out. People are just tired enough to be a little looser with their words than usual, yet still cognizant enough to carry on a spirited argument. This leads to a few certain individuals getting called out on some questionable behaviors. This sort of confrontation is therapeutic in a way since you’re all so tired it becomes a lot more of a joke than it would be in the day. This promotes a lot of laughing and good feelings. Eventually it devolves into less serious topics.
You look up after a spirited yelling match about bananas. It’s almost 1am.
You ask yourself which series of choices you made in your life have led you to this moment. How could you have lived this long and not known the “best” way to open bananas? On another note, why are there so many bananas in the room at 1:30 in the morning?
Stage 4: Healthy Competition
These questions remain unanswered as the food entertainment transitions to goldfish throwing festivities. The trick is being skilled enough not to drop any in unexpected places they might get crushed in the morning. It’s a careful balance, but the entertainment you provide by catching the little fish in your mouth like a seal is so worth it.
Stage 5: Sleeping, Laughing, Collective Regret
At some point, one person will fall asleep. Everyone else will feel bad for a moment and then continue making noise. Finally, people are no longer people. They are half asleep lumps spouting nonsense from their respective corners. Of course, the night would be incomplete without someone having an existential crisis while lying face down on a yoga mat. This breakdown is a signal. Kick everyone out and go to bed. You can all collectively groan that you’ve stayed up late enough that you can no longer in good conscious refer to your impending wake up as “tomorrow” but only an extension of the day you’ve stumbled into.
You swear you’ll never do it again, but soon enough another day has passed and you’re settling in for “just a few funny youtube videos”...
