No matter what we do to prepare before each June when the next season of "Orange Is The New Black" drops, we are never fully ready for the end. We re-watch the previous season(s), we let all of our friends know we may as well be dead the next few days, and we stock our rooms with all of the food essentials. Then- and only then – may we truly be prepared to binge-watch what is to be the most drama-filled show you will watch this season. This is a spoiler-free article, so although one will never truly understand until you've spent two days sitting in the same spot watching episodes 1-13, all may read it. What comes after episode 13, however, is what I can only describe using the 5 Stages Of Grief...
Stage 1: Denial
In this first stage, we discover that we, the young binge-watchers, may not fully comprehend what has just occurred. We were singing at the top of our lungs along to what once seemed to be one of the LONGEST theme songs in history- and suddenly instead of going to the next episode, Netflix has suggested titles 'because you watched "Orange Is The New Black." But I don't WANT to start watching Nurse Jackie, I WANT to see what happens next in Litchfield. So we will- for now- pretend this is just a glitch in the system.
Stage 2: Anger
Soon, however, we discover that- yet again- we have called off work to watch more, and now have realized that we are behind on work/homework because we have spent the whole weekend watching it. This angers us, as we have not spent the past year building up our GPAs to have it ruined by one weekend of Netflix. But we're not just mad at Netflix for taking over our lives, we are also mad at ourselves for falling for it — yet again — year after year after we spent so long trying to avoid falling into that dreaded show-hole again.
Stage 3: Bargaining
After realizing that anger will get us nowhere, we try one last plea bargain. "If you release just one more episode, I won't swear for a whole freaking month" "Please release Seasons bi-annually. June and December, that's all I ask. I'll only watch one a week like a normal show if you do that..." We would do ANYTHING for just one more peek into Litchfield.
Stage 4: Depression
Once we realize there's no going back – there's no more surprises or twists and turns for a WHOLE YEAR, it's time to break out the emergency ice cream and tissue stash. This is depression. You realize that ever since "Gossip Girl" wanted a 'break' and "One Tree Hill" left you, no other show has made you feel so excited for the next episode. Sure, you could watch "Grey's Anatomy" again, but you could watch that anytime. It is time for a good old cry-fest and a moment of self-pity over how long a year will feel.
Stage 5: Acceptance
The fifth, and final, stage of grief, is acceptance. You know better days will come again, and there will be other shows until next June. You may have a slight hole in your heart where Alex Vause used to be, but until then, we will be strong. Because we are strong independent OITNB fans and we don't need no prison. (Buuuuuttttttt, if you do happen to re-appear in December, we will welcome you with open arms)
