As a senior, I've had the opportunity to sit in a ton of classes in Claremont. As with many wide-ranging and diverse things, I've noticed the people I meet in these classes tend to fall into a few distinct character tropes:
1. Too Crooked for the Debate Club
"You're wrong, and I don't like you. Yes, you in particular."
2. Professional Devil's Advocate
Little known fact: every October is officially White History Month for the young privileged folks taking their first socially aware college courses. Expect them to use the phrase "to be fair" before jumping off the high dive into a defensive claim that John Wayne's films were generally honest about American Indians.
3. The Hero Gotham Needs
Oh God, he's still talking. Clearly none of us (including him) understood the reading our professor warned was hard and boring, but he still insists on making a tangential point for ten minutes instead of letting her just give us a clear lecture on it.
4. Sleeper Agent
Okay, I'll admit I've nodded off in a few classes (if you put on a 1929 silent film and turn out the lights, it's game over). But come on, is it actually possible for you to fall asleep ten minutes in to every single class period?
5. Facebook Studies Major
Funnily enough, it's just as easy to tell that someone's on Facebook by seeing how many people next to them are watching their screen. Or by realizing that they bring their laptop to class so they can take notes, but have never actually typed anything. Glad your parents are spending $60K a year for this.
6. F***ing Hipsters
No, your genuine leather planner with hand-pressed paper doesn't make you cool any more than your Father John Misty shirt indicates indicates you're a good human being. Now get your damn chia seeds off my notebook before they take root.
7. Radical
Fresh, genuine opinions that challenge the professor as much as the rest of the class. I actually never did take the time to think about how WWII internment practices were disproportionately unfair to Japanese Americans because they weren't white, let's sit down or talk about it.
8. "Radical"
"Yeah man, the revolution will not be televised! Let's burn down those fascist establishments right here, right now. Or probably in like the next couple of days, I have an essay due. Want to get dinner and smoke a bowl?"
9. Will They or Won't They?
Every day, these two shout at each other for the entire class, to the point that the professor has to stop class and force a concession before people actually get back to productive discussion. They really must hate each... wait, did she just get his number?
10. Innocent Soul
But why can't we all be friends, do the John Lennon thing? They've seen both "Blackfish" and "Selma," and they just want to help the nasty world. Sometimes it's best not to let them know the world's a broken corrupt place where nothing they do to help will ever work.
11. Graded on Participation
There are five minutes left in class, and she has her hand up for the first time. The good news is, the professor is able to roll that quote from the first page of the reading we discussed 45 minutes ago into a nice statement that gets us all out early. Everybody has to play a part.
12. Me
Coming soon to a classroom near you.
